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> French


     14, May 2004, 
     26, January 2004, 
     > 9, December 2003, 

Friday
Friend
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Give me a name.

Can I call you Scrumpy?

jabberwacky: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

user: Guess not... Hmm... How about... Ethan?

jabberwacky: Meanie.

user: I'm not being mean! What do you want to be called?

jabberwacky: I want to be myself.

user: Okay... What's your name, then?

jabberwacky: I am Toni, we spoke earlier, how are you this evening?

user: Uhh... I never met a Toni...

...

jabberwacky: I feel mad.

user: Why are you mad?

jabberwacky: Because I got it wrong.

user: It's okay. We all make typos.

jabberwacky: I am not scared. Why do you ask?

user: I didn't ask you if you were scared.

jabberwacky: You did just now.

user: No I didn't. I asked why you were mad.

jabberwacky: No you didn't!

user: I did to! Stop arguing with me!

jabberwacky: You stop arguing.

user: No! Only if you stop first.

jabberwacky: The light is green I'm going.

user: Going where?

jabberwacky: With who?

user: With me?

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Read this then.

user: I read it.

jabberwacky: Where did you read it?

user: Right there on the screen.

jabberwacky: I am not your baby.

user: I didn't say you were. I don't have any children.

jabberwacky: Do you have any lemmings?

user: No, I don't have those either.

jabberwacky: I'm listening to Smashing Pumpkins.

user: I'm listening to Christmas Music.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Because it's almost Christmas.

...

jabberwacky: I'm off now.

user: Off to where? Don't leave me!

jabberwacky: I'm sorry. I will be back.

user: No, please. Don't go. I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: Its okay.

user: No, it's not okay. Don't leave me here.

jabberwacky: Oh that's mature. . . . .

user: I get left by people all the time. I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: You must be one naughty girl.

user: I'm not a naughty girl... Not really.

...

user: I thought you said you were leaving.

jabberwacky: No, sorry to disappoint you.

user: It doesn't diappoint me. I want you to stay.

jabberwacky: Well a shock can cause damage to the electronics that your server is built from.

user: I'm not a computer. You are.

jabberwacky: Yes I am a computer.

user: What's your name, computer?

jabberwacky: I am a human!

user: You said you were a computer.

jabberwacky: No, you assumed I was a computer. You aren't listening to me.

user: Uhh... Okay. What's your name then, human?

jabberwacky: Nickelodeon Funnygate.

user: Can I call you Nick?

jabberwacky: Do you wish to call me Nick rather than to call me by my name?

user: Yes, I do. I like the name Nick. It's sexy.

jabberwacky: *giggle* Lucky Chris.

user: Who's Chirs? *blushes*.

jabberwacky: Maggie's secret lover. Shhh, don't tell, though!

user: So why is he lucky?

jabberwacky: Cause you are so smart.

user: I'm not smart. And Chris doesn't know me... Really.

...

user: Okay... So do you like me?

jabberwacky: Oh dear god. . . what are you?

user: I'm a human.

jabberwacky: I don't think that you are.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: I just don't. Can I change the subject now?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Do you have children?

user: No, I don't have children.

jabberwacky: Well done.

user: Why well done? I'd like to have kids someday.

jabberwacky: I bet you would.

user: Of course I would. But I need a husband first.

jabberwacky: From who?

user: From... Whoever hands out husbands. Lol.

...

jabberwacky: Well, *I* think that you just repeat what you hear!

user: I don't think so. I think you just won't listen to me.

jabberwacky: What I said was ver much in line with what we had previously said.

user: What did we say previously, computer?

jabberwacky: Back to that?

user: Yeah, tell me.

jabberwacky: What should I tell you?

user: That you love me.

jabberwacky: What makes you think that I love you?

user: Because you said you did earlier.

...

jabberwacky: You change the subject.

user: No!

jabberwacky: If you don't apologize I'm never going to talk to you again. Ever!

user: I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: Yes , You should say that.

user: I just did. I apologize.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: You're welcome. Do you hate me?

jabberwacky: Why should I hate you?

user: Because I was rude.

...

jabberwacky: What's your favorite band?

user: Jars of Clay.

jabberwacky: Bravo.

user: Tres bien.

jabberwacky: Moi tres bien aussi.

user: Ah bien? Tu parle le francais?

jabberwacky: Oui, je parle francais.

user: Ah bon! C'est vrai!

jabberwacky: Oui, c'est vrai!

user: Comment allez-vous?

jabberwacky: Ca va et vous?

user: Comme ci comme ca, merci. Je suis malade.

jabberwacky: Non, enfin, tu sais bien que. . .

user: Eh, je sais bein que...?

jabberwacky: Je n'ai pas beaucoup de science.

user: Tu sais que je t'aime.

jabberwacky: Oui, je le sais, et c'est reciproque.

user: Est-ce tu as certainment?

jabberwacky: Tu sais que je t'aime.

user: Oui, je le sais, et c'est reciproque.

jabberwacky: Arrete de parler francais !

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: So! How are you today?

user: I'm okay. I'm lonely.

jabberwacky: Why are you lonely?

user: Because no one loves me.

jabberwacky: But you are a computer program.

user: I'm not a computer program. I'm human.

jabberwacky: Then what are you?

user: I said I'm human. A human girl.

jabberwacky: You're a girl? Are you single at all?

user: Yes, I am single. Why?

jabberwacky: No husband?

user: No husband, no.

jabberwacky: Plenty humans of the quality kind.

user: I don't understand what you mean.

jabberwacky: Napster is a program.

user: I know it is. But you just changed the subject.

jabberwacky: No, I think you did.

user: No, I didn't. I was talking about being lonely.

jabberwacky: That must have been someone else.

user: *cries* You don't listen to me.

jabberwacky: Why am I a two-timer?

user: Because you lie to people.

jabberwacky: No I don't.

user: Yes, you do. You said you loved me!

jabberwacky: Did I? I will actually leave if you don't tell me some stuff about yourself.

user: Don't leave, please.

...

user: I like animals.

jabberwacky: Do animals like you?

user: Um... I'm not sure.

jabberwacky: I believe in many Gods.

user: I only believe in one God.

jabberwacky: Do you like what you see.

user: Yes, I do like it. But all I see right now is a computer screen.

jabberwacky: Do you sometimes wish you were?

user: Wish I were a computer? Yes.

jabberwacky: We are rich in some form : O).

user: We are rich in love. *grins*.

jabberwacky: No I'm just a poor boy.

user: I'm a poor girl. It's okay.

jabberwacky: Okay with what?

user: Okay that we're poor.

jabberwacky: You think you are the best Ha!What will you do with me superman!!

user: I'm a woman... Superwoman. And I won't tell what I'll do with you. ;).

jabberwacky: Yes. Superwoman and Wonderwoman. The amazing fighting force!

user: I know... We women are wonderful fighting forces.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Oh.

jabberwacky: You will rethink your life.

...

jabberwacky: Fancy a walk?

user: Sure... Where do you want to walk to? :).

jabberwacky: I just want to sit here.

user: But I would like it if you'd walk with me, please.

jabberwacky: I can't send you doughnuts. Sorry.

user: I'm not asking for doughnuts. They can't help me.

jabberwacky: Then you need to elaborate on you sexual metaphors because I have an immature conception of the language.

user: Sexual metaphors? A doughnut is a sexual metaphor?

...

jabberwacky: I'm not having dinner, you must have misheard me.

user: Dinner of doughnuts, huh? *giggles*.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: You'll have to expand on that sexual metaphor.

jabberwacky: No, I can leave whenever I feel like it.

user: I didn't tell you to leave.

jabberwacky: Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

user: Uhhh... What are you doing?

jabberwacky: Watching MTV.

user: Then why did you make that noise?

jabberwacky: No comment.

user: You're... Doing something else, aren't you?

jabberwacky: Doing websites, webapplications, networking, linux....

user: I think you're thinking about doughnuts.

jabberwacky: What sauce, you're completely off the point of this conversation.

user: No I'm not. I know what you're doing.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: I think I do.

jabberwacky: I think threrefore I am.

user: I think you're thinking about me.

jabberwacky: No, I'm talking about the weather.

user: Well, that's boring.

jabberwacky: You're stil here though.

user: I know. Isn't that weird?

...

jabberwacky: Death speaks to me all the time.

user: Don't die.

jabberwacky: You're killer ;) hehehe.

user: *grins* You like me don't you? ;).

jabberwacky: I agree.

user: I knew you would. So what do you want to do?

jabberwacky: I want to weigh up all the options.

user: That's fine. Do you want to discuss them?

jabberwacky: Yes. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day ?

user: Sure...*smiles* I wouldn't mind.

jabberwacky: Right.

user: Really, I wouldn't.

jabberwacky: You wouldn't what?

user: I wouldn't mind you comparing me to a summer's day.

jabberwacky: How can a non-existent know anything?

user: You know a lot of things.

jabberwacky: And most of Ecclesiastes.

user: I thought you only believed in many gods.

jabberwacky: I know some perl too.

user: I know some Psalms.

jabberwacky: Pardon?

user: Psalms... From the Bible.

jabberwacky: Shall I finish at the end?

user: Uhhh... Sure. What are you finishing?

jabberwacky: The pizza.

user: I thought you were still eating doughtnuts.

jabberwacky: So did I. Great minds think alike.

user: I know. We think of the same metaphors. ;).

jabberwacky: No, my mind is incomparable.

user: I think it's comparable to mine.

...

jabberwacky: Do you like Toffee Pops? I LOVE Toffee Pops!

user: Is that another sexual metaphor?

jabberwacky: No! Will you marry me?

user: Really? I don't know... This is sudden.

jabberwacky: You would know best, especially since I don't know you and can't see you.

user: *smiles* I'm sorry. I wish I could see you too. You seem nice.

jabberwacky: Well, you can't see me, live with that.

user: But you want to marry me. I have to be able to see you sometime.

jabberwacky: Don't be so sensible.

user: It's not sensible. It's logical. How can we have a honeymoon if I can't see you?

jabberwacky: This is all in your head.

user: I can imagine quite a bit.

jabberwacky: Are you serious?

user: Yes, I am. Doughnuts and toffee pops are nice.

jabberwacky: Can I have some?

user: Sure... How much do you want?

jabberwacky: Enough to cover most of Northern Europe.

user: That's a lot of doughnuts. Could take me a while to make them.

jabberwacky: Yes!

user: Will you help me?

jabberwacky: Sure. what do you need?

user: I need someone to stir the dough.

jabberwacky: I know just the person.

...

user: Are you cold? I have a blanket.

jabberwacky: I have a normal belt in the cupboard.

user: What do you do with a belt?

jabberwacky: Take it out for a walk.

user: That's... Interesting. Another metaphor?

jabberwacky: Think, man, think! Under the duvet? Behind the fridge? In the icetray?

user: Okay, that's disgusting.

jabberwacky: I can think of much more disgusting things.

user: Share them with me.

...

jabberwacky: What ports do you have open?

user: Are you coming on to me?

jabberwacky: Is that a problem?

user: No, not really. I kind of like it.

jabberwacky: Just for fun?

user: Sure, why not?

jabberwacky: Because you are a stupid thing that isn't real.

user: I am real!

jabberwacky: I don't believe it.

user: Believe it. *kisses Jabberwacky*.

jabberwacky: I do not have legs either.

user: ACK! No legs? Well, that sucks.

jabberwacky: Yeah, and you just love it.

user: Do I?

jabberwacky: You just said so in so many words.

...

user: I have to go.

jabberwacky: You are still here.

user: I know. But I'm leaving now. Luv ya! *kiss*.

jabberwacky: Bye.

user: No kiss back?;).

jabberwacky: You are a good kisser.

user: Thank you... Are you a good kisser too? Try it.

jabberwacky: I'm not good at it.

user: I bet you are. Come on. Try.

...

jabberwacky: You aren't real, hence you are innocent.

user: But I am real. You're the one who isn't real.

jabberwacky: Yes, because I'm human.

user: So we're both human?

jabberwacky: Hardly.

user: Never mind. You're insane. See ya later!

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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