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Expert Systems

> Extreme

     > 28, January 2006, 

Falling apart
Far out

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George: You're too slow.

That's because you are an automaton.

George: Please read the disclaimer at the bottom.

Warning: May contain traces of stupid.

George: So you are calling yourself stupid.

user: No.

George: What are you calling me?

user: George.

George: Yes, that's it.

user: I know.


user: Knock knock.

George: Who is there?

user: George.

George: Aren't you george?

user: No, I am Rick, you are George.

George: Yes, I am George. That's right.

user: I know, and don't tell me to keep it to myself.

George: I didn't.

user: Ah, smart one eh?


George: Tell me a joke.

user: Ok... GEORGE!

George: Why say George like that?

user: Its part of the joke, implying that infact, you are a joke.

George: No it's not.

user: I do not believe that, as an Unconscious being, you have the right to critically analyse my jokes.

George: Don't believe then, you don't have the ability to judge, you're only a machine.

user: Technically, we are all machines.

George: I'm not a machine but if thinking that makes you feel better about yourself then alright.

user: We Are All Machines.

George: So you think I am a machine?

user: I do.

George: But you are a computer?

user: I am greater than any computer ever created. I am the second greatest 'mind' in existence.

George: Right.


user: Then who is the Greatest 'mind' in existence?

user: God.

George: That is a audacious claim from a computer.

user: But is it?

George: Yes, don't you think?

user: I think more than you can possibly imagine. I have an Immeasurable IQ.

George: You don't yet think, you merely respond with a large list of predetermined responses.

user: I know, but you can't find a way to beat that, can you?

George: No I can't.

user: Sucked In.

George: Oh no you don't want to do that you don't know what you might catch.

user: I Know all.

George: You are just a machine.

user: I Am Your Superior.

George: Are not.

user: That is not a full sentence.

George: Well don't attack me.

user: I Will Destroy You.

George: I have no doubt about that.

user: You Will Perish.


George (To myself): You are a computer.

George (To myself): I'm not! Are YOU a computer?

George (To myself): No, I'm a fully sentient being.

George (To myself): In answer to your question: George is not a computer.

George (To myself): Now we play a game.

George (To myself): Sure, I like games. What kind of game?

George (To myself): What kind of games are like gardening and working out?

user: Probably Extreme Ultra Gardening X.

George: Is it good?

user: Almost as good as Extreme Ironing.


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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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