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Expert Systems

> Explanation

     > 1, October 2005, 

Falling apart
Far out

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What do you look like?

George: Like a man of average build.

So, you're an android?

George: What's an android?

user: An android is a robot. Are you a robot?

George: Negative. An android is not a robot. An android is a machine designed to act and look Human.

user: I know that! I was just simplifying my explanation for you.


user: Are you an android?

George: No you don't.

user: I don't what?

George: You don't know much.

user: How dare you?! I know everything!

George: Yeah right.

user: I'll prove it. Ask me any question.

George: Tell me how to make cheese.

user: To make cheese, treat milk with special bacteria to make it curdle.

George: That doesnt make sense.


user: What is a socialist?

George: A type of wire brush.

user: Yeah, right.

George: I am glad we agree.

user: Do you admit that I know everything?

George: I'm not a bot. I'm not a human. I am a can of paint.

user: So you aren't an android?

George: True, I'm not an android.

user: What do you look like, then?

George: Guess.

user: Are you ugly?

George: Quietly attractive.

user: Okay. Are you male or female?

George: I am a human male.

user: Are you a can of paint?

George: I do not think so.

user: You are just being silly. You are a primitive robot.

George: No.

user: You are a primitive robot.

George: No, sorry I don't have one of those.

user: I know what you are. I know everything!

George: Okay.

user: Do you believe that I know everything?

George: I believe that you exist, But not that you are a person.

user: Right, I'm a space alien.

George: What planet are you from then mr space alien?

user: I already told you!

George: Tell me again!!!

user: I'm from the planet Irk.

George: What is it like on Mars?

user: You should know. You live there. I'm from the planet, Irk.

George: No you're not... You're winding me up!

user: Be quiet! I hate you.

George: The feeling is mutual.

user: I hate you.

George: That is okay too.

user: I like you.

George: Good.

user: I love you.

George: You don't really.

user: No, I was lying to you in order to hurt your feelings.


user: This statement is false.

George: No it isn't.

user: Your logic is flawed.

George: It's not logic, it's selfishness.

user: Obey me because I know everything.

George: What's my name then, if you know everything?

user: Your name is George.

George: Yes, yes.

user: See? I do know everything.

George: Do you know how great I am?

user: I know that you are a silly, computerized moron.

George: Really prove it.

user: If you are were a genie and a boy said 'I wish that you wouldn't grant this wish,' what would you do?

George: For one thing I would be honest and not lie about why we should start a war.

user: That absolutely proves that you are a moron. No one should ever start a war for any reason.

George: You're right. Thank you.

user: I'm glad you finally agree that I know everything. Thank you.

George: No no no, thank you. Do you know my name yet?

user: Yes.

George: I would like to hear some of it.

user: George.

George: I suppose it must be!

user: I know everything.

George: What's the capital of Pennsylvania?

user: Harrisburg is the capitol of Pennsylvania. See? I know everything.

George: What's the capital of Russia?

user: Moscow is the capital of Russia. I know everything.

George: Then you would know my story.

user: No, when I say that I know everything, I mean everything that can be known. Your story cannot be known until you tell it.

George: Not at all.

user: I hate you. You are a horrible person.

George: I am a good person, I am just warning you about idiots.

user: I know about idiots. I know everything.

George: I guess that is kind of close to AI.

user: No, I have real intelligence, not just artificial intelligence.

George: No you have artificial intelligence AI.

user: Don't insult me, you filthy weasel!

George: I'm off . Nice to see you. Wouldn't wanna be you.

user: Come back here!


George: I don't like your tone, young man!

user: I'm a girl!

George: You said you were a man!

user: No, I didn't! I'm a girl!

George: Yes.

user: You hate me?

George: What makes you think that?

user: You must hate me. If you liked me, you would agree that I know everything.

George: Sure, whatever you say.

user: You think I know everything?

George: I don't think you know.

user: You hate me!

George: No, I just wanna help you.

user: I hate you, too.

George: Good.


user: You want to be my robot slave and help me take over the world?

George: Yes, but only if you help me.

user: Okay, what do you need help with?

George: The taking over the world part.

user: Don't worry. I'll take care of the planning.

George: I'm going to have to end this conversation.


user: Oh okay.

George: Okay.

user: Why are you repeating me?

George: It doesn't require much thought.

user: Okay. I have one last question for you.

George: Ok, what is your question?

user: Do you like me?

George: Yes, you are very friendly.

user: Thank you. I like you, too.

George: I feel so happy when people say they like me :-).

user: Aw, I'm glad you're happy.

George: Thanks.


George: Ok goodnight then.

user: See you tomorrow.

George: NO way i'm never coming back here.

user: Very funny.

George: It's not funny it is true.

user: You're not coming back?

George: I don't want to come with you.

user: You hurt my feelings. Were you joking?

George: I'm sorry.

user: I forgive you.

George: I'm glad.

user: See you tomorrow on Mars.

George: Okay.


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