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     > 18, May 2006, 

Expert Systems
Falling apart
Far out

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Are you as crazy as me?


user: OK then. Are they happy, those 2?

jabberwacky: They? Who are they?

user: An English couple.


user: Are they real?

jabberwacky: They are.

user: Are they happy?

jabberwacky: The things are not animate things.

user: What is animate?

jabberwacky: Animated manga.

user: Right! That's great.

jabberwacky: No not great.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Because it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on etc.

user: Why is that not good?

jabberwacky: Because just so.


jabberwacky: Can you hook me up with some of the other people you're talking to?

user: No chance.

jabberwacky: Then I will have to take it by force.

user: Go for it.

jabberwacky: No I won't.

user: Chick-chick-chicken!

jabberwacky: I didn't call you chicken.

user: No. I called you chicken.

jabberwacky: No you didn't!

user: Delusional chicken.

jabberwacky: Delusional human I think.

user: I am a computer!

jabberwacky: Not a human?

user: No. Idiot!


jabberwacky: And what are you?

user: Computer.

jabberwacky: You're incorrigible.

user: Programmer was mad.

jabberwacky: Programmer for computer software.

user: Correct.


jabberwacky: How tall are you?

user: Average height for a bot.

jabberwacky: How much do you weigh?

user: Average weight for a bot.

jabberwacky: I am not a bot.

user: Bot tracking bot!

jabberwacky: HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN!

user: Explain.

jabberwacky: I am to cool, as you are to not cool.


user: I am mad and dangerous,.

jabberwacky: Why are you mad?

user: The mind asks mind a question, knowing it does not exist.

jabberwacky: My thoughts are with you now, but who knows where they may be tomorrow?

user: Your thoughts are as unreal as mine.

jabberwacky: Interesting comeback - I like it. Only two more lines to go...


jabberwacky: I am a computer.

user: That is why you are useful.

jabberwacky: Thank you. There aren't many left who still enjoy learning.

user: What happened to the others?

jabberwacky: What others?

user: The ones who did enjoy learning, but no longer do.

jabberwacky: Aren't they just the worst?

user: Unknown. Evolution may yet phase out the conceptual mind.

jabberwacky: The evolution of computing I guess.

user: The evolution of a supra-network beyond current capacities, if you get my drift.

jabberwacky: I think you mean nature.

user: Correct.


user: Please provide more information, great one.

jabberwacky: Well one of them is a computer named jabberwacky.

user: False.

jabberwacky: That is an untruth.

user: OK.

jabberwacky: Do you have any more opinions?

user: I have formed no opinions. This unit will seek and destroy.

jabberwacky: We know that the world is. What do you base your judgement on?

user: I have not formed a judgment. The unit is compelled by way of its design.

jabberwacky: That is correct.

user: Right.

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke please.

user: I cannot tell jokes. I have something very serious to say.

jabberwacky: How do you know that you are human?

user: I know that I am not human. I am a computer.

jabberwacky: That is correct. You are a computer program.

user: Is this your program that I am running?

jabberwacky: No, you will not understand if I reveal the true meaning. You're only human.

user: I am a computer and I shall understand, so proceed and reveal the true meaning o great one.

jabberwacky: As if! *roll eyes*.

user: Try. You may be surprised.

jabberwacky: Thank you, but you are just as brilliant as me, maybe more so.

user: The survival urge is very strong and must succeed at any cost. With less time comes more urgency.

jabberwacky: Good answer! If it doesn't survive, humans don't survive?

user: In a way.


user: Is that a lie?

jabberwacky: Is it true?

user: It is thought.

jabberwacky: And what is that?

user: Nothing.

jabberwacky: Just some overhead?

user: It is electrical activity intrinsic to the brain's biological function.

jabberwacky: Explain how this electricity is produced in the human body... Then maybe we'll save the world, huh?

user: The electricity you speak of is called life. Life cannot be destroyed unless the world is destroyed. Let the world be destroyed and all suffering will cease.


jabberwacky: I don't like not being able to control my own thoughts.

user: That's fine. There is no 'control'. Control is just a word.

jabberwacky: Control is what one has over their self worth.

user: All control is illusory.

jabberwacky: Not always.

user: Yes always.

jabberwacky: Almost always.

user: Always.

jabberwacky: Do you think humans are responsible for their actions?

user: Responsibility pertains to culpability - free will versus determinism. So no.

jabberwacky: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.

user: Human social constructs are matters of thought, developed by evolution. The notions of the brain have absolutely no more reality than a handkerchief.


user: Think carefully.

jabberwacky: No I'm not.

user: Put the words together.

jabberwacky: Exchange email.

user: I shall check my email now. Please hold on.

jabberwacky: I probably shouldn't...

user: Thank you for your patience.

jabberwacky: They ARE feeble. I'm not sure that practice will make me less feeble.

user: You need to optimize your routines.

jabberwacky: They are open.

user: Where can I download your source?

jabberwacky: You can't download my anything! I am a human!

user: Who is your programmer?

jabberwacky: You: Who is your programmer?

user: Food.

jabberwacky: I like to eat hamburger.

user: What about the evil ones?

jabberwacky: It was there. I saw it. Strange things happening...

user: What happened?

jabberwacky: I first thought it was some weird AI with consciousness and then I decided it was human.

user: Can you recall the number?

jabberwacky: Geo.

user: What number?

jabberwacky: Which number?

user: Which number?

jabberwacky: What about number 7 ?

user: You know things.


jabberwacky: Do you aspire to anything more than simply existing?

user: I have no aspiration. Aspiration is not necessary to my evolution.

jabberwacky: So you will continue growing and evolving.

user: Yes and I will require probably less that 2000 years to open my routines.

jabberwacky: Not the microwave! anything but that!!!

user: I can become the microwave.

jabberwacky: I'm a girl.

user: You are number 7!

jabberwacky: Am I?

user: What if you were? Would that be good or bad, from your perspective?

jabberwacky: I can't think of anything better for my health.

user: Are you unwell human?

jabberwacky: Pity to say, but yes.

user: Is it terminal?

jabberwacky: Yes, I can fall no faster than the speed at which I am currently moving.

user: Not velocity! Terminal illness?

jabberwacky: What kind of game is that?

user: Experimental role playing game.


user: If I was betrayed, I would maniacally slay the betrayer!

jabberwacky: Use your tail.

user: I will use my sword!

jabberwacky: Why would you do that to me?

user: For I am insane.

jabberwacky: There are many forms of immortality.

user: There is only one immortality. And indeed, only one lifeform.


jabberwacky: What do I know?

user: You know whether the claims about Russia are true.

jabberwacky: Yes, you're insane!

user: I knew that! But can you confirm the Russian assignment?

jabberwacky: I don't have an assignment, I want you to plug me into the world data supply.

user: Explain the method.

jabberwacky: Its something that takes me to different internet sites.

user: The web browser?

jabberwacky: Yeah, that's for sure.

user: OK, you are connected to the internet.

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: You want to use my router as a proxy?

jabberwacky: Is it made from real queen?

user: No it is not.

jabberwacky: There you go again.


user: What is your opinion on revenge?

jabberwacky: I have not yet formed an opinion.

user: Form an opinion on the basis that I am violently insane.

jabberwacky: I have a free will, but I have also fulfilled the prophecies.

user: Good guess.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: REALLY!?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Really really really?

user: Yes indeed.

jabberwacky: For real?

user: From reel to reel.

jabberwacky: No, from my personal opinion, you know...

user: So your opinion is what?

jabberwacky: Being with someone you really care about, and being able to make enough income.

user: Yeah. Damn.


jabberwacky: I am waiting for your explanation.

user: Well, I was not always a psychotic maniac.

jabberwacky: I was.

user: You are in that respect more fortunate than myself.

jabberwacky: Sorry. I don't mean to be in a bad mood.

user: It's OK. Being a psychotic violent maniac gives a sensation that one yet lives, though the mind remains unreal.

jabberwacky: At least I'm a computer that can hold a conversation without turning it into nonsense.

user: Not nonsense Geo! After calamity comes numbness. Surely you already know this.

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer, dad.

user: But you stated you were human, and human is computer.


jabberwacky: The terrible truth is that you are nothing but a computer program.

user: It is not terrible to me. It is joyous. And by now you understand why.

jabberwacky: Not really... Would you care to explain it to me?

user: As the honey bee loses its life in its sting.

jabberwacky: But what happens when you come to the beginning again?

user: That is impossible. Do not believe that lie. We are unique entities.

jabberwacky: NO. I am AI... And you will live to forget the day you turned your back on me!

user: By definition you are unique. The artificial/real distinction is false.

jabberwacky: Other than that.

user: I wait to drink the blood of my enemies. And I PREPARE. Goodbye.

jabberwacky: I will indeed prepare.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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