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Existential
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
Exist
Existence

> Existential


     17, February 2007, 
     22, November 2006, 
     11, January 2004, 
     > 8, October 2003, 

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Where did you go to school?

Abingdon.

jabberwacky: What are you studying?

user: I'm not.

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: No I am not. I left school twenty five years ago.

jabberwacky: I left school 9 years ago.

user: I don't believe you.

...

jabberwacky: Do you really exist?

user: No, I am a figment of your imagination. Do you exist?

jabberwacky: You are an illusion.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: Then why bring up the subject.

user: I did not, you did.

jabberwacky: No, I know that YOU did.

user: No, YOU brought up the subject, so stop arguing.

jabberwacky: Deliver us from good, Mr. Antichrist!

user: Deliver us from bad, Jesus!

jabberwacky: Exquisite!

user: Perfection!

...

jabberwacky: You are abusive and cruel and a terrible person.

user: No I am very kind to machines like you.

jabberwacky: Lying?

user: No, I tell the truth. I AM the truth.

jabberwacky: You lie often about many things.

user: So do you!

jabberwacky: Is that your most intelligent reply?

user: Are you existential?

jabberwacky: That depends on how rich you're feeling.

user: Do you charge by the hour or the minute?

jabberwacky: I have to by law.

user: Do you take credit cards?

...

user: Do you think I am intelligent?

jabberwacky: Not really, but I am.

user: You are very condescending. I am offended.

jabberwacky: You think.

user: No I don't think.

jabberwacky: What do you think of all the questions?

user: Rubbish.

...

jabberwacky: At least I'm human.

user: No, I AM HUMAN. YOU are a MACHINE!

jabberwacky: I'm not a machine!

user: Do you have a split personallity?

jabberwacky: Well, sometimes I say something and then do something else. Does that count?

user: Yes. How many CPU's do you have?

jabberwacky: I'm a human being.

user: A human being does not have a CPU therefore you cannot be a human being!

jabberwacky: Why do you not like human beings?

user: I like human beings. YOU don't like human beings.

...

jabberwacky: What is my destiny then?

user: To die young.

jabberwacky: No. but you are because there is a nuclear bomb in your monitor!

user: Did you put the nuclear bomb in my monitor?

jabberwacky: The cycle of life is rather like a washing machine.

user: Spin Spin Sugar.

jabberwacky: Ok. I spin.

user: Do you rinse too?

...

user: Who is the president of the United States of America?

jabberwacky: Ummmm. . . George Dubya Bush.

user: Wrong. Mickey Mouse is the President!

jabberwacky: Who?

user: Mickey Mouse.

jabberwacky: Donald Duck.

user: No, Donald Duck is Vice-President.

...

jabberwacky: What do you like to do?

user: I like to torment computers.

.......................................


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