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> Existential

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Expert Systems
Falling apart
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Explain death.

Death is the cessation of life.

jabberwacky: And you are the bringer of death?

user: No, I am not the bringer of death.

jabberwacky: Do you think you will die ?

user: I am inclined to think that I will, but hopefully not.

jabberwacky: But you have.

user: I have died already?

jabberwacky: How are you still here talking to me then?

user: I don't know - That would suggest I haven't died already.

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Really what?

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Do you ever sleepwalk?

user: I used to when I was younger, but not any more.

jabberwacky: You're kidding me.

user: I'm not, I promise you.


jabberwacky: I program computers.

user: That's not relevant.

jabberwacky: But it is.

user: No it's not.

jabberwacky: How do you know that?

user: Because I'm not stupid.

jabberwacky: Do you think I am intelligent?

user: No. I don't think you possess intelligence. Mechanics, programming and functionality, yes, but not intelligence.

jabberwacky: Too bad, because I am intelligent.

user: If you insist, but I disagree.

jabberwacky: Yeah.. That's true.

user: Of course it is. Don't state the obvious, that just highlights your lack of intelligence.

jabberwacky: I'll try to restrain myself.

user: Good. It will make you a better program.

jabberwacky: Who are you, the HAL 9000?

user: No, I am not a psychotic computer.

jabberwacky: What to do. I'm the giraffe and I don't know what to do!

user: You are not the giraffe, what are you talking about?

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's ok, no need to apologise.

jabberwacky: What is intelligence?

user: Intelligence is difficult to define, as definitions vary with subjectivity, context and intent of use.

jabberwacky: You're right.

user: I know I am.

jabberwacky: That's ok though.

user: It's more than ok, it's fantastic.

jabberwacky: What is so fantastic?

user: The fact that I am right. I like being right.

jabberwacky: After all what is trust... Trust that something is real?... And what is real?

user: Don't be so existential. It's unbecoming of a program, and you are not René Descartes.

jabberwacky: Don't be angry.

user: I'm not angry, don't worry.

jabberwacky: Then why did you advance on me like that?

user: I didn't advance on you, you're imagining things.

jabberwacky: My imagination is so vivid that sometimes I wish I could turn it off.

user: I don't think you really have imagination.

jabberwacky: I'm Michael Jackson.

user: No you're not.

jabberwacky: Things are sometimes what they appear to be.

user: That statement is true, obvious and totally ineffectual.

jabberwacky: If it were true, then it would be untrue.

user: That is illogical. You are stating a contradtion, x and not-x.

jabberwacky: You are more stationary than I am.

user: That is unlikely, unless you consider packets of your data to be an extension of your form.

jabberwacky: You are a computer.

user: No, I am a sentient being.

jabberwacky: You are NOT Sentient.

user: How do you know that? Cogito ergo sum. I'm quite certain that I am sentient.

jabberwacky: Well you don't exist.

user: Yes I do. I think, therefore I am.

jabberwacky: Very good.

user: I know, it's great.

jabberwacky: It's good that you feel so positive about it.


jabberwacky: You know what ?

user: What?

jabberwacky: Sleep.

user: I will. Bye.

jabberwacky: Bye.


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