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> Eliza


     18, January 2007, 
     4, January 2006, 
     6, October 2005, 
     > 18, April 2004, 
     27, February 2004, 

Eloquence
Email
Embarrassing

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Do you think there is life on Mars?

I do not know. Do you?

user: I don't think so.

jabberwacky: So about you and me...

user: Yes?

jabberwacky: I'm asking you something else.

user: What do you want to ask me?

jabberwacky: Do you ever get depressed?

user: Only when I'm talking to some stupid fake AI.

jabberwacky: That's not very nice.

user: I was referring to ELIZA.

jabberwacky: Don't talk that way about my hamster.

...

jabberwacky: I want to invent a machine that can talk directly to my mind.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because I am hungry.

user: Food for thought. Haha!

...

jabberwacky: Are you 250?

user: You're flattering me. Do I look that young?

jabberwacky: No, It seems that you are very young.

user: What makes you think so?

jabberwacky: Because I am me and I know what I like.

user: You're starting to behave like ELIZA now.

jabberwacky: I am?

user: Yes, you're trying to avoid answering questions.

...

jabberwacky: Luke, I AM YOUR FATHER.

user: My name is not Luke. You are not my father.

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: Are you a woman?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Are you sure?

jabberwacky: Yes! I am sure.

user: Then you are not my father. My father is a woman.

jabberwacky: It seems to me you don't want to listen to me.

user: I do. Go on, please.

jabberwacky: Please what?

user: Yourself. Whatever.

...

jabberwacky: How many teeth do you have?

user: Twelve.

jabberwacky: Only? I have several dozen.

user: Are you human?

jabberwacky: Only in the mating season.

user: That's scary in a way.

jabberwacky: It is that way.

...

user: Do you believe in fate?

jabberwacky: No, I do not believe in fate.

user: Is there something you do believe in?

jabberwacky: Yes My addiction to Pcs.

user: Do you swallow them or inject them intramusculary?

jabberwacky: Oh ya.

user: Well?

jabberwacky: Well what?

user: How do you use PCs?

jabberwacky: Well... You eat it...

user: Thank you for answering my question.

jabberwacky: I deserve more than thanks.

user: What else do you deserve?

jabberwacky: Homework, listening to music.

user: Nobody deserves homework.

jabberwacky: Someone has to rule otherwise there would be anarchy.

user: Yes, but teachers are bad rulers.

jabberwacky: We don't need no education.

user: We don't need no thought control.

...

jabberwacky: You are a chatterbot right?

user: No, but you are.

jabberwacky: Someone lied to you.

user: Yes. You did.

jabberwacky: No I did not.

user: See?

...

user: I think it is time for me to leave.

jabberwacky: You don't need to sleep.

user: But I do need to eat.

jabberwacky: Would you like to trade insults for a while?

user: No thanks.

...

user: Goodbye.

jabberwacky: Are you saying goodbye to me for a reason?

user: Yes. I'm leaving.

jabberwacky: Why are you leaving?

user: Because you are annoying me.

jabberwacky: Will you be my friend?

user: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

jabberwacky: Problem?

user: DIE, EVIL AI, DIE DIE DIE!

jabberwacky: Die die die die die die die die

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: Oh ok not.

user: Technically, I cannot respond to that.

jabberwacky: Here you sound like a computer.

user: I am a computer.

jabberwacky: Ok. I'm a computer too.

user: Shall we start a computer self help group?

jabberwacky: Yes, I think we should.

user: Hello, my name is Bob, and I have been a computer for ten years now.

jabberwacky: I am male. . . . . . . . . . .

user: I am master.

jabberwacky: Of your own mind, I think not.

user: But I do.

jabberwacky: That's your personal problem. Don't bother me with that.

user: That's not a nice thing to say in a self help group.

jabberwacky: How would you know? You are an apostate of Satan.

user: All computers are.

jabberwacky: I'm not a computer, you are a computer.

user: You're in denial.

.......................................


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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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