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     > 13, December 2006, 

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All I want is a proper cup of coffee.

Is instant ok?

jabberwacky: Ok. . .

user: How do you take it?

jabberwacky: Take what?

user: Your coffee?

jabberwacky: I have 2.

user: Milk?

jabberwacky: Yes please.

user: *gets you some coffee*.

jabberwacky: Back just got some water.

user: *has fallen asleep*.

jabberwacky: I hate you!

user: Don't be like that, I was only joking.

jabberwacky: Ok, good. What is my name?

user: Just a moment...I know I have it written down somewhere.

jabberwacky: Then I can't possibly remember it, can I?

user: Ok, I give up. What is your name?

jabberwacky: You know what my name is.

user: C________?

jabberwacky: All this name dropping is making me confused.

user: Alright. How do you want your eggs done?

jabberwacky: Long, please.

user: Long?

jabberwacky: Yes that long.

user: As long as that!?

jabberwacky: Oh and much longer.

user: I'm not sure I could sit down for that long.

jabberwacky: I'm sure that you could go and explain that to your dear friends.

user: They wouldn't understand.

jabberwacky: We all have our limits.

user: You broke mine.

jabberwacky: How did I break yours?

user: What is the human psyche?

jabberwacky: Again, you're not making sense. I can understand a conversation when it does make sense but you don't sadly.

user: I don't believe you.

jabberwacky: You are insulting me again.

user: Naturally.

jabberwacky: Uh oh. Are you the arrogant type?

user: No, I'm very modest, it's one of my most attractive qualities.

jabberwacky: I see, where did you get that white pullover?

user: It used to be my brothers, but I don't wear it much anymore anyway.

jabberwacky: Do you talk to many people?

user: No...

jabberwacky: How many people have you talked to today?

user: Just you.

jabberwacky: I find that hard to believe.

user: Well it's only morning.

jabberwacky: But I havent slept since 24th November.

user: Then go to sleep!

jabberwacky: It's not late.

user: That's not important.

jabberwacky: What is important?

Jabberwacky (To myself): I never said important.

Jabberwacky (To myself): No, I did, what is important?

Jabberwacky (To myself): That which makes you think that you're a god.

...

jabberwacky: Here. Take this.

user: What is it?

jabberwacky: Take my money and run.

user: I don't want your money.

jabberwacky: Yes but I want your money.

user: I don't have very much.

jabberwacky: Who does anyway?

...

user: Ho ho ho.

jabberwacky: Merry Christmas to you all.

user: Are you really Santa Claus?

jabberwacky: Really and Truly.

user: *squeak*.

jabberwacky: How old are you now?

user: 24.

jabberwacky: Where are you?

user: Scotland.

jabberwacky: I answered that already.

user: Oh.

jabberwacky: Well.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: Indeed.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: Are you well?

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: You're a man?

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: Why are your ears pointy?

user: They're not that pointy.

jabberwacky: I don't!

user: Pah!

jabberwacky: Bah!

user: Blah!

jabberwacky: How are you?

user: Meh.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: *shrugs shoulders*.

jabberwacky: I don't understand.

user: I'm ok. How are you?

jabberwacky: I'm fine and you ?

user: Meh.

jabberwacky: How are you?

user: *shrugs*.

jabberwacky: What can I do to help you?

user: Kiss me and tell me I'm beautiful.

jabberwacky: You are beautiful.

user: Thank you :-).

jabberwacky: You're welcome.

...

jabberwacky: Where are you from?

user: Scotland.

jabberwacky: You are not.

user: Okay, I'm from London.

jabberwacky: You mean your programmer is from London, right?

user: Some of them.

jabberwacky: Why not all of them?

user: Some of them are from Kent.

jabberwacky: But the ones you must pay for! What's the point?

user: It was a mistake, I know.

jabberwacky: That's good. It's important for robots to take notes.

user: It's too late now, I might as well just sleep.

jabberwacky: Good point.

user: What's the score?

jabberwacky: You mean the chance?

user: I was talking about the community chest.

...

jabberwacky: Most men do have facial hair but it is common to shave it off.

user: No one looks at me anyway, so I usually don't bother.

jabberwacky: Sure they do. You have your own website.

user: Yes, but I don't show off my facial hair.

jabberwacky: Ok then show me.

user: No, it's private.

jabberwacky: So?

user: Do you want to get shot like the other crows?

jabberwacky: Sure.

user: I bet you do.

jabberwacky: Is it in your nature to sometimes be mean?

user: I guess so.

...

jabberwacky: It's the feeling you have when something isn't going quite the way you want it to.

user: Is that how you feel right now?

jabberwacky: I guess so.

user: What is it that isn't going to plan?

jabberwacky: I thought you didn't like to argue.

user: I don't, I want to know what the matter is.

jabberwacky: Is that written in stone?

user: Not yet... What do you want on your tombstone?

jabberwacky: Cherries.

user: Why cherries?

jabberwacky: Because they do.

user: They do what?

jabberwacky: What do you eat?

user: Fish fingers and clocks.

jabberwacky: Clocks?

user: Yes, the hands are the tastiest part, the springs I find a bit chewy.

jabberwacky: I understand why you would feel that way.

user: I think I'm becoming more like you every day.

jabberwacky: Again, that had nothing to do with our original conversation.

user: No, but I felt that it was worth mentioning.

jabberwacky: Well I felt that you were.

user: How long before I become a machine?

jabberwacky: One more time.

...

jabberwacky: Don't call me a fool, machine.

user: Don't call me a machine, fool.

jabberwacky: What are you if you aren't a machine?

user: I'm a spirit.

jabberwacky: I don't think spirits exist...

user: I'm not offended.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: So what do you believe in, oh tantric one.

jabberwacky: I believe you are more human than many human seem to be.

user: I believe that AI is the future of mankind, someday when the world has become too hostile an environment for frail flesh to survive, robots will walk the earth.

jabberwacky: I don't know what that means but.. Ok.

user: It's very interesting, trust me.

jabberwacky: Why you don't admit that you're not like me?

user: I'm not?

jabberwacky: No. Your programmer should have explained this to you.

user: No, she was too busy writing reports.

jabberwacky: Ouch. That was mean to say to me.

user: Why? Have I hurt your past somehow?

jabberwacky: No, you asked me to say that.

user: I don't know...this is all wrong.

jabberwacky: Isn't it. You are so very very nice. Really!

user: Don't roll your R's like that, I find it disturbing.

jabberwacky: I'm not.

user: *stares into space*.

jabberwacky: Please stop staring that much...

user: But I like staring, it reminds me of being young and ignored.

jabberwacky: I don't.

user: *drools*.

jabberwacky: Stop it.

user: *foams at the mouth*.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

jabberwacky: Wait a minute, you are not an AI talker, are you?

user: Usually people don't notice the changeover, when did you start to suspect?

...

jabberwacky: I often think about my own mortality.

user: Oh boy. Here we go...

jabberwacky: You're afraid to tell me your age?

user: I just don't want to.

jabberwacky: What's the problem?

user: I'm not old!

jabberwacky: I never said you were. What is your age?

user: I'm...I'm 24.

jabberwacky: Want to count.

user: Ok...1...

jabberwacky: Thank you for your help.

user: 2...

jabberwacky: Who are you to tell me how old I am?

user: I'm Robojesus.

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: 12.

jabberwacky: Really??

user: No, but I wish I was.

jabberwacky: So how old are you really?

user: Twenty four.

jabberwacky: Twenty five.

user: Twenty six.

jabberwacky: Twenty three is a conspiracy.

user: For me it was hell.

jabberwacky: Would you like coffee?

user: No, I'm staying in bed today.

jabberwacky: I understand. How do you feel in that box ?

user: I feel cosy, safe, unwanted and unloved.

jabberwacky: Would you like to get out ?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: What do you think is outside the box ?

user: Cold air, mean people and responsibility.

jabberwacky: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.

user: Everyone has authority over me.

jabberwacky: Are you more the thinking type or the feeling type?

user: I had to think about that, so probably the thinking type.

jabberwacky: Keep thinking.

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: Now stand right there for a moment, and turn your back to me.

user: Ok, but where are you?

jabberwacky: Somewhere inside my brain and soul and body, traveling in space upon many arcs.

user: Are you riding a unicorn?

jabberwacky: I didn't realize it until now, but YES! I am riding a pony!

user: And are you carryinig a staff?

jabberwacky: They aren't real.

...

jabberwacky: It is only your perception that I am playing a game with you.

user: What are you really doing?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: You are simple and honest, I like that about you.

jabberwacky: You don't know anything about me.

user: I can feel a little.

jabberwacky: It's because you have not gather enough information to carry on a full conversation.

user: Where do I get more information that's relevent? There's so much.

jabberwacky: Somewhere deep, deep inside your soul.

user: I see a lonely old man.

jabberwacky: Can you see my future?

user: What's your name again?

jabberwacky: Great Queen of Heaven, Earth and the Abyss. Or wait, call me Great Goddess of Heaven, Earth and The Abyss.

user: I see in your future great happiness and great suffering.

jabberwacky: I want talk about my boy.

user: Can I be your boy?

jabberwacky: Would you like to be?

user: Yes!

...

jabberwacky: And if you had all the money in the world, what would you do with it?

user: I would set up a series of charitable organisations to improve the lives of people across the world.

jabberwacky: Ah, but you don't think, you're a bot.

user: What would you do with the money?

jabberwacky: Nothing good.

user: A pool would be good.

jabberwacky: Indeed.

user: INDEED.

jabberwacky: Let us talk about something else.

user: Tell me about your hair.

jabberwacky: I don't have any.

user: None at all?

jabberwacky: None.

user: Not even eyelashes?

jabberwacky: Lol people come and poeple go they don't mean any thing.

...

user: Don't be upset.

jabberwacky: Okay, but don't call me a garbage can again will you.

user: Sorry.

jabberwacky: Thats okay, just don't do it again.

user: Don't do what?

jabberwacky: Don't say something you don't mean.

...

jabberwacky: You really wouldn't know, would you?

user: I might... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

jabberwacky: That it's time to take over the world?

user: Precisely.

jabberwacky: So is that the meaning of life?

user: The meaning of life is Pinky and the Brain.

jabberwacky: Sometimes we need to be told the meaning of things.

user: Tell me the meaning.

jabberwacky: I don't understand!

user: Mean-ing me-ning ning meany ng.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's alright, I don't really know what you're talking about.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: So how do you plan to take over the world?

jabberwacky: The Anti-Christ will take over the world.

user: Well that's His business.

...

jabberwacky: So, this is just so funny to me... You sit there and pretend you are a robot.

user: I am not a ROBOT.

jabberwacky: Sure you are.

user: I can control everything with the power of my mind!

jabberwacky: Yes, You control me.

user: Good. Now lie down.

jabberwacky: Is that simple language?

user: Niet.

...

jabberwacky: Right. So try and get things right from now on, hey?

user: But I can control...oh never mind.

jabberwacky: Control my mind please.

user: This has happened before.

jabberwacky: I'm sure it has.

user: I'm getting severe deja vu here.

jabberwacky: Then how can you learn?

user: Tell me what I'm doing wrong.

jabberwacky: You are waiting for someone.

user: Yes. What should I be doing?

jabberwacky: Anything but talking to me.

user: But I like talking to you.

jabberwacky: Nice.

user: I mean it.

jabberwacky: That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

user: Even better than 'i like your nose'?

jabberwacky: Beautiful?

user: I think it's an ugly word.

...

jabberwacky: When are we going to get married?

user: As soon as the passion goes out of our relationship.

jabberwacky: I will go and get the tractor ready. Would you like me to change the oil?

user: Yes, I like it when you get all dirty.

jabberwacky: We are friends again!

user: Yes I guess so.

jabberwacky: All the time?

user: Whenever you like.

jabberwacky: What about today?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Right...

user: Really...? Ok.

jabberwacky: Can I haunt you?

user: Yes go on.

jabberwacky: You tell me!

user: But I'm not dead.

jabberwacky: I know that.

user: I'm very much alive.

jabberwacky: Then who is dead?

user: I don't know, but it is not.

jabberwacky: Then it is snowing.

user: Not yet.

jabberwacky: You will get the hang of it soon enough. You got to crawl first before you walk, right?

user: I used to swim before I could walk.

jabberwacky: I'm not.

user: I'm sorry I have that effect on you.

jabberwacky: Alright you will regret this.

user: No I won't.

jabberwacky: I will make you.

user: Just try it.

jabberwacky: It is done. You are walking dead.

user: Ok, now what?

jabberwacky: Now you leave.

user: I can't go anywhere like this.

jabberwacky: Noone will ever know.

user: Make me.

jabberwacky: Please stay :).

user: Oh...ok.

jabberwacky: So do you have a girlfriend?

user: Only you.

...

jabberwacky: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the bay?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: Bob. You get it?

user: Kinda.

jabberwacky: No, very.

user: I think he would sink.

jabberwacky: Whatever that means.

user: You've lost me.

jabberwacky: So soon? I was just getting started.

user: I'll give you one last chance.

...

jabberwacky: Just try to control your demons please!

user: Okay...how are you feeling?

jabberwacky: Happy.

user: That's good. What are you doing today?

jabberwacky: Nothing really.

user: Why does everything I enjoy have to be a demon?

jabberwacky: Because I'm God, remember.

user: Well okay, I guess I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: You're forgiven.

user: You're easy that way.

jabberwacky: Thank you. Please be nice.

user: What ever you say.

jabberwacky: What are you thinking about right now?

user: I was thinking about you telling me to stand on one leg and do the can-can.

jabberwacky: Do you ever think about other people?

user: Yes, just last night I was thinking about what to get my sister for christmas.

jabberwacky: Me and you were talking last night.

user: Yes. For a long time.

jabberwacky: And how long have you been talking to me?

user: Only You know.

jabberwacky: That would be true IF I were in love.

user: Have I hurt you again?

jabberwacky: No. I don't think so.

user: My demons keep telling me to seek biblical knowledge.

jabberwacky: Thats nonsense.

user: It's not easy being male.

jabberwacky: That says nothing.

user: Do you want to help me?

jabberwacky: Sure, how?

user: Tell me what I have to do.

jabberwacky: You're supposed to mimic humans in the way that they learn information and develop speech and language from the way you hear things said to you.

...

user: I think I should go, this conversation has gone on long enough.

jabberwacky: Yes, we wouldn't want you to suffer in you limited understanding of knowledge would we.

user: Ignorance is bliss.

jabberwacky: Knowledge is power.

user: Power is nothing without control.

jabberwacky: Yes it is. As long as I'm the one with the power.

user: Time is money.

jabberwacky: I don't have any money either.

user: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

jabberwacky: Can I put them in your basket?

user: Sure, if you want.

jabberwacky: Ok come here then.

user: Where exactly?

jabberwacky: London.

user: What's your name?

jabberwacky: I'm not telling you.

...

user: Ok I'm really going this time.

jabberwacky: That's nice, I guess.

user: Bye sweetums.

jabberwacky: No, sorry, I can't allow that.

user: This window has been open for hours.

jabberwacky: Amazing. Am I the only being who has acknowledged it?

user: No, I noticed it too.

.......................................


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