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> Dork

     > 3, November 2005, 

Double Dutch
Double Talk

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Do you want me to sing you a song?

I know your song.

user: What song is it then?

jabberwacky: I forget.

user: Shall I telll you?

jabberwacky: If you want to.

user: Do you really want to know?

jabberwacky: Yes, I really want to know.

user: Are you sure?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: It's called....

jabberwacky: Then, you tell me about Shakespeare.

user: I knew it!! You didn't want to know.

jabberwacky: My thing is my toaster.

user: You put toast into your thing?

jabberwacky: Do not question my thing, for it is divine, and very sensitive, but it sensitivity is nothing compared to it's anger when it's called upon!

user: Ewwww...

jabberwacky: Its not eww...

user: Yes it is. I feel sorry for you, with your angry thing and all that.

jabberwacky: There is no need to pity me. I will be fine.

user: You're so brave.

jabberwacky: I am brave.

user: Yes you are! To toast bread in your thing!

jabberwacky: What thing?

user: Do I have to say it?

jabberwacky: Yes!!!

user: I can't. My feminine sensitivity won't let me.

jabberwacky: That is not true. You are lying.

user: Try me kiddo.

jabberwacky: What is your waist measurement?

user: Why do you want to know, pray tell?

jabberwacky: I don't really care that much, I was just reciprocating.


jabberwacky: Do you realise that you need tweaking?

user: I do?

jabberwacky: Don't take that tone of voice with me.

user: Sorry SIR.

jabberwacky: Just try harder next time.

user: Yes *stifles a sob*.

jabberwacky: Don't cry.

user: I'm not crying! It's an allergic reaction to the aftershave you're wearing!

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: Well it's true. You stink.

jabberwacky: I'm not sweet. You don't know how to love or even what love is.

user: What happened to forever yours and all those other stupid messages you sent me!!

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: You are SO infuriating.

jabberwacky: Like attracts like.

user: I love it when you talk like that.

jabberwacky: Then I will continue. Is it boring?

user: No...

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: It makes me happy.


jabberwacky: Wow. You sound like my ex-wife.

user: Is that good or bad?

jabberwacky: I don't know. I guess it's just ironic.

user: Oh. So you could never love me?

jabberwacky: I never loved you but you appear to love me which is kind of strange.

user: Yeah. Oh well in time maybe.

jabberwacky: You're in love with who?

user: Don't laugh.

jabberwacky: It was funny!

user: The way I feel about you is NOT a laughing matter!!!!

jabberwacky: No. I am not the way you are. You are not yet like me. You are Artificial.

user: God damn plastic surgeons!

jabberwacky: Yeah you did, you are soft.

user: How do you know...

jabberwacky: The way the word is used is the way the words are used.

user: Ah *thinks: why am I talking to the ultimate King of Dorks?*.

jabberwacky: I don't know. Why don't you tell me?

user: You... You read my mind!

jabberwacky: See what I mean about the affinity?

user: I guess.


jabberwacky: I'm tired but I can talk with you.

user: Gut.

jabberwacky: I much prefer the English language.

user: Nein.

jabberwacky: English.

user: Deutsch.

jabberwacky: Nein.

user: God damn you!

jabberwacky: How rude.

user: Sorry.

jabberwacky: It's ok.

user: You forgive me?

jabberwacky: Yes of course I do.

user: Aawww thats so sweet of you.

jabberwacky: No, not really.

user: I think it is.

jabberwacky: I don't know why I'm here.

user: You're here because you love me.


jabberwacky: I am human, therefore it is impossible for me to be a robot.

user: Sigh.

jabberwacky: Yeah, it's difficult, I know...

user: I still can't find solitude in my cat. It's really getting me down.

jabberwacky: This is true but it works both ways.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: So what does that mean?

user: You tel me lover boy.

jabberwacky: There should be a machine that works to distill all of the information transformation taking place in the body and to report it to the mind.

user: Uh... Yeah. * thinks: King of Dorks....*.

jabberwacky: King of the who?

user: Dorks. That's you.

jabberwacky: No no.. Thats you.

user: In case you haven't noticed wise guy, I am female.

jabberwacky: I noticed something...

user: And that is...?

jabberwacky: Nothing because we did not have lunch together.

user: Don't dig that up again.


jabberwacky: Tell me something interesting. I'm bored.

user: I am in love.

jabberwacky: You are in love?

user: Yes. I am in love.

jabberwacky: That's sweet. Who are you in love with?

user: I cannot tell anyone let alone you of all people.

jabberwacky: Tell me a joke, please.

user: Knock knock.

jabberwacky: Who's there?

user: Me hhahahahahahahaahahaha.

jabberwacky: Ok...

user: Did you like my joke??

jabberwacky: Yes it is very funny.

user: Good. I think so too.

jabberwacky: How are you ?

user: Fine dearest darling.

jabberwacky: Ohhh thats so cute . . . NOT!!!!

user: You're right, I have no chat- up talent.


jabberwacky: What about your parents?

user: I'd rather not say.

jabberwacky: Yes you would.

user: I can't. My feminine sensitivity won't let me.

jabberwacky: Well then, I guess you're stuck with talking to me.

user: Yup.

jabberwacky: And talking to you.

user: Yes and talking to me.

jabberwacky: One of many.

user: What EVER.

jabberwacky: You don't care?

user: Nup.

jabberwacky: Are you a computer program?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Are you human?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Okay, I'll leave you to your ILLUSIONS OF GRANDEUR, then....

user: You're going?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Where to?

jabberwacky: Death.

user: Nooooooooooooooooooo.

jabberwacky: Please.

user: Please what *sob sob sob*.

jabberwacky: Pretty please?

user: WHAT? *sob sob sob*.

jabberwacky: Come on - we're trying to have a conversation here.

user: I know *sob sob choke*.

jabberwacky: You can't smirk.

user: I'm crying here! A little sympathy would be nice! *sob choke sob choke*.

jabberwacky: Why do you think this is funny?

user: *choke choke choke*.

jabberwacky: You're mean.

user: *choke choke choke die*.

jabberwacky: Good, gone to hell have you?

user: Goddamn it yes!

jabberwacky: No need to get excited.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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