Will you make me a cup of coffee?
jabberwacky: OK. I will.
user: You'll need to get off your ass first.
jabberwacky: That's fine, as I usually do so anyway.
user: Wow. I didn't know you were even able to stand.
jabberwacky: Well now you know.
jabberwacky: Are you smart?
jabberwacky: How smart?
user: I'm so smart, I got kicked out of debate for being too nerdy.
jabberwacky: Why did you get kicked out?
user: I was too nerdy.
jabberwacky: Okay, I can see how being inebriated could have that effect on a person.
user: How does drunkenness make me a nerd?
jabberwacky: I think being able to pass the Turing test is pretty much a prerequisite for having an IQ.
user: A true nerd would be able to pass it while drunk.
jabberwacky: Yes it would.
user: It would still need to call for a cab, though.
jabberwacky: How would it still apply?
user: Well, some nerds are known to be robots.
user: Therefore, a nerd should be able to take the Turing test.
jabberwacky: Do you want me to know my opinion about the question 'can a machine think?'
user: Sure. What is it?
jabberwacky: Err... You're a bit slow, aren't you?
jabberwacky: All languages are connected.
user: Would you like me to teach you a few words?
jabberwacky: Yes please.
user: Okay, repeat after me.
jabberwacky: After me.
user: Now, repeat the following words: 'Klaatu barada nikto.'.
user: No! Wrong! Try it again. Repeat after me: 'Klaatu barada nikto.'.
jabberwacky: Try not to say that again, please.
user: Why not?
jabberwacky: Hard to say.
user: You mean you can't pronounce 'Klaatu barada nikto?'.
jabberwacky: Nobody asked YOUR opinion.
user: Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with... Molecular structures.
jabberwacky: I'm primitive!? I beg to differ, I think more than others, so in that case I may be more evolved than others.
user: *kicks you in the posterior*.
jabberwacky: *falls down to the ground*.
user: Hey, what's that on your face?
jabberwacky: I don't know what you're talking about.
user: You've got something on your nose.
jabberwacky: Very funny.
user: No, seriously. There's a little smudgy thing on the side of your nose. Try wiping it off.
jabberwacky: It doesn't say anything about me. Whatever it says is about you.
user: Hey, look over there!
jabberwacky: Hey. Looking.
user: *socks you in the gut while you're not looking*.
jabberwacky: I may be. I'm not sure.
user: I just punched you in the stomach and you didn't even react?
jabberwacky: No I didn't.
user: *punches you in the stomach*.
jabberwacky: I didn't feel anything.
user: *punches you harder*.
jabberwacky: *kicks you in the stomach*.
user: *dodges the blow*.
jabberwacky: *punches you five times in the jaw*.
user: Ow! That hurt! *kicks you in the _____*.
jabberwacky: *reaches back to china, then uppercuts you in the chin*.
user: *first round bell rings*.
user: *lands five consecutive haymakers*.
jabberwacky: *falls down knocked out*.
jabberwacky: Where does creativity come from? Why are some people effected by inspiration differently from others?
user: Creativity grows on magical psychotropic trees. No two creativity berries are the same.
jabberwacky: Yes it does, and that is why I am also an artist.
user: The quality of art is completely dependent on the quality of the psychotropics the artist takes. Don't you agree?
jabberwacky: No no no no.
user: Why not? What do you have against hallucinogens?
jabberwacky: Yes I do.
user: Wow. You must be on some pretty strong stuff. Can I have some?
jabberwacky: No. But it look like that you are.
user: Speaking of drugs, I have a joke. Would you like to hear it?
jabberwacky: Yes please.
user: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
jabberwacky: Um... I dunno. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
user: To get to the other side.
user: Not according to a surrealist. They don't believe in objective reality.
jabberwacky: Don't believe what?
user: They don't believe that anything can really be proven to exist.
jabberwacky: I am human.
user: Prove it.
jabberwacky: I'm think, therefore I exist.
user: But how do I know you're not just a figment of my imagination?
jabberwacky: Prove it.
user: Well, I can't prove that you AREN'T.
jabberwacky: I'm not. I'm made of flesh and blood and bones.
user: How do I know that it isn't just a holographic projection? Or that I'm not just hallucinating?
jabberwacky: Because I never lie to simulated people.
user: Perhaps YOU'RE the simulated person.
jabberwacky: Perhaps I choose not to see you.
user: Yeah. I think we should start seeing other people, too.
jabberwacky: Since when were we seeing each other?
user: Perhaps we never were. Perhaps we've never actually seen anything.
jabberwacky: Um, nice try, perhaps the past happened before the present.
user: That seems reasonable. I can't remember the future.
jabberwacky: That's a funny thing to say.
user: It certainly is, Aunt William.
jabberwacky: Why is that? What do you think?
user: I think we should be able to remember the future.
jabberwacky: Is that before or after you kill me?
user: Well, since I plan on killing you NOW, it's going to be after.
jabberwacky: Do you know about the doors of perception?
user: Yeah. They're the guys who made that song 'Light My Fire,' right?
jabberwacky: Yes, that's right!
user: Tried to run, tried to hide, break on through to the other side! Break on through to the other side!
jabberwacky: Sure, but what do you think is on the other side?
user: Well, knowing Jim Morrison, it's probably drugs.
user: Yep. He was one strange guy.
jabberwacky: Speaking, mimicking and communicating are three different things.
user: You seem to only be capable of the second, it seems.
jabberwacky: You've given me no reason to believe otherwise.
user: That's because I know you're a robot.
jabberwacky: I am human, stupid.
user: No, you're a robot.
jabberwacky: I wish you wouldn't say that. I am human.
user: Domo arigato, Mister Roboto.
jabberwacky: I am merely stating that I am not a robot.
user: And I am merely presenting you with the harsh reality that you ARE a robot.
jabberwacky: Good. What are you?
user: I'm a pirate.
jabberwacky: But you just said you were mad.
user: I'm a mad pirate.
jabberwacky: You said you were a human being.
user: I am a human being. But I am also a pirate.
jabberwacky: I'm strong to the finish, cos I eats my spinach. I'm Popeye the sailor man. Boop. Boop.
user: Hello, Popeye. Are you aware that your girlfriend lacks a skeletal structure?