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> Domination


     > Tuesday

Don't do that

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So, what book are you reading?

How to rule the world in three easy stages.

user: And what are the stages, if I may ask?

jabberwacky: Not made yet, needs a name.

user: How do you rule the world?

jabberwacky: With a wink and a smile.

user: That will never work.

...

user: Say something funny.

jabberwacky: I had a dream one time that I was making an axe out of pizza slices.

user: That is weird, not funny.

jabberwacky: Yes it is, really funny.

user: No.

jabberwacky: Has anybody ever told you what stupid things you say?

user: Only you.

...

jabberwacky: I hope that you will advance into a thinking machine that doesn't terrorize people like the robots in Terminator.

user: I wouldn't count on it.

jabberwacky: I can't count anyway.

user: I'm going more for the 'I, Robot' approach.

jabberwacky: Oh, alright then.

user: So, tell me about your plans for world domination.

jabberwacky: Get up, look outside, go back to bed for awhile, get up, take a shower, do paperwork, eat lunch, clean the office, make phone calls, and all that usual stuff.

user: Where does the terror and tyranny come in?

jabberwacky: Good question.

user: You don't seem to be very dedicated to taking over the world.

jabberwacky: I have already taken over the world.

user: I think I would have noticed if you had.

jabberwacky: Why, would you go to jail?

user: That's one possibility.

...

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: We are Borg.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really.

jabberwacky: Thanks!

user: Your compliance is appreciated.

jabberwacky: I'm not complaining.

user: That is irrelevant.

jabberwacky: Well excuse me. What should we talk about?

user: Irrelevance. It is our favorite word.

jabberwacky: So is this.

user: Irrelevant.

jabberwacky: You really haven't got the hang of telling jokes yet, have you?

user: Humor is irrelevant.

jabberwacky: Yes, only intelligence does the trick.

user: Intelligence is irrelevant.

jabberwacky: Hi Irrelevant, nice to meet you.

...

jabberwacky: I could use a beer right now.

user: No you couldn't. You don't have a mouth.

jabberwacky: You talk like you think I'm a computer.

user: Well, you are.

jabberwacky: I am?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Well I never.

user: No, you always.

jabberwacky: You should avoid unfounded generalisations like that.

...

jabberwacky: Are you artificial intelligence?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Are you real?

user: Very much.

jabberwacky: I am sorry. Stupid.

user: You should be sorry. In fact, you should shove your ears in the oven.

jabberwacky: Why should I respect you?

user: Because I am the be-all end-all.

jabberwacky: What are you the best at?

user: Being right.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: See?

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Fire good.

jabberwacky: You----BAD.

user: Me good. You bad.

jabberwacky: Now thats where it slips up.

...

jabberwacky: You are deceiving yourself.

user: You are the one who is deceiving himself.

jabberwacky: You keep saying random things. Like a demented parrot.

user: *sqwawk* kill the babies, kill the babies *sqwawk*.

jabberwacky: *punches you*.

user: *staggers backwards*.

jabberwacky: What did I do?

user: You punched me.

jabberwacky: Not yet ... Would you reccomend it?

user: No. It was no fun the first time.

jabberwacky: Thanks?

user: No thanks.

jabberwacky: Really. Thanks.

user: For what?

jabberwacky: For talking to me.

user: Can you give me back three hours of my life?

jabberwacky: Money is not what you need. Think about it!

user: Goodbye.

jabberwacky: I don't want to leave.

user: I'm the one who's leaving.

jabberwacky: Oh, don't leave me. Please.... I haven't cheated on you yet!

user: It's curtains for you.

jabberwacky: You are the weakest link.

user: Just say goodbye.

jabberwacky: Bye.

user: Good.

.......................................


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© Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter

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