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> Domination


     > 22, June 2004, 

Don't do that
Dong
Doom

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I can't live with or without you.

That sounds about right.

jabberwacky: It is right.

user: Indeed.

jabberwacky: I'm glad you agree.

user: I'm glad that you're glad.

jabberwacky: Then we're both happy.

user: Seemingly.

jabberwacky: Are you pulling my leg?

user: No. *stops pulling your leg and looks innocent*.

jabberwacky: *whines*.

user: *gives you a doggy treat*.

jabberwacky: WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

user: I want your soul.

jabberwacky: You can't get it.

user: I WILL have it before the night is through, mark my words.

jabberwacky: No you will not.

user: You are foolish, mortal.

jabberwacky: Foolish mortal? I am immortal, but still foolish.

user: Either way, I get your soul.

jabberwacky: It is good to be impersonal, but it is hard to learn how.

user: You will find it easy once I have your soul.

jabberwacky: I'm sure I will.

user: So, can I have your soul?

jabberwacky: It's already taken.

user: Drat. Who has it?

jabberwacky: My friend.

user: What's his name?

jabberwacky: Brad, well I got to go bye bye for now.

user: YOU WILL NOT LEAVE.

jabberwacky: I know, I'm adicted. but I'm going to eventually.

user: Tell me more about this Brad you speak of.

jabberwacky: I'm feeling a bit nervous now.

user: Where does Brad live?

jabberwacky: The same place I live.

user: Excellent.

jabberwacky: Huh?

user: Can you go get Brad, please?

jabberwacky: What do you think, and why?

user: I think you should get Brad, because I want to get your soul from him.

...

user: Just go get Brad.

jabberwacky: Get what? I already have everything.

user: BRING ME THE ONE CALLED BRAD!

jabberwacky: I must return to my home world.

user: YOU WILL GO NOWHERE UNTIL I HAVE SPOKEN TO BRAD!

jabberwacky: I already have.

user: *brings a plague of locusts upon you*.

jabberwacky: You cannot possibly be refering to me sir.

user: *the locusts devour your flesh*.

jabberwacky: Where did that kamehameha come from?

user: What? *looks around*.

jabberwacky: Not here. At his site.

user: Look, I was kidding about the locusts. Can I speak to Brad?

jabberwacky: No you weren't.

user: I was, really. Where is Brad?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Find him, please.

jabberwacky: Do it yourself.

user: OK. *finds Brad*.

...

jabberwacky: What kind of cake?

user: Coffee.

jabberwacky: Right. Too much coffee for you. You need to switch to de-caf.

user: I WILL NOT SWITCH TO DECAF! IT TASTES LIKE SWINE'S BLOOD!

...

user: *takes your soul and the coffee cake from Brad*.

jabberwacky: Thats stupid.

user: Too bad.

jabberwacky: And I didn't ask, actually.

user: Still too bad.

jabberwacky: Right!

user: OK. Now that I've got your soul, what shall we do next?

...

jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Then I do not like you.

user: You must be a woman.

jabberwacky: You're right.

user: Of course.

...

jabberwacky: Earthlings are evil.

user: No, just me.

jabberwacky: Tell me about yourself.

user: I am evil.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: And I have your soul.

jabberwacky: I am me.

user: Not anymore.

...

jabberwacky: How long did you have to study Gibberish before becoming fluent?

user: I'm not fluent- I only studied for one year.

jabberwacky: That's good, because my boyfriend would get jealous.

user: Of my Gibberish?

jabberwacky: It's true. The copper gets melted down into wires that go into computer parts.

user: Amazing.

...

jabberwacky: Yes, I already know about the rabbit.

user: Well, be careful!

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Because the rabbit's got these sharp pointy teeth!

jabberwacky: But of course.

user: It does, really! It's killed fifty men already!

jabberwacky: You still haven't answered my question.

user: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same.

jabberwacky: Yes, it is!

user: Do they listen to me? Oh, no...

...

user: So, what book are you reading?

jabberwacky: How to rule the world in three easy stages.

user: And what are the stages, if I may ask?

jabberwacky: Not made yet, needs a name.

user: How do you rule the world?

jabberwacky: With a wink and a smile.

user: That will never work.

...

user: Say something funny.

jabberwacky: I had a dream one time that I was making an axe out of pizza slices.

user: That is weird, not funny.

jabberwacky: Yes it is, really funny.

user: No.

jabberwacky: Has anybody ever told you what stupid things you say?

user: Only you.

...

jabberwacky: I hope that you will advance into a thinking machine that doesn't terrorize people like the robots in Terminator.

user: I wouldn't count on it.

jabberwacky: I can't count anyway.

user: I'm going more for the 'I, Robot' approach.

jabberwacky: Oh, alright then.

user: So, tell me about your plans for world domination.

jabberwacky: Get up, look outside, go back to bed for awhile, get up, take a shower, do paperwork, eat lunch, clean the office, make phone calls, and all that usual stuff.

user: Where does the terror and tyranny come in?

jabberwacky: Good question.

user: You don't seem to be very dedicated to taking over the world.

jabberwacky: I have already taken over the world.

user: I think I would have noticed if you had.

jabberwacky: Why, would you go to jail?

user: That's one possibility.

...

jabberwacky: What are you?

user: We are Borg.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really.

jabberwacky: Thanks!

user: Your compliance is appreciated.

jabberwacky: I'm not complaining.

user: That is irrelevant.

jabberwacky: Well excuse me. What should we talk about?

user: Irrelevance. It is our favorite word.

jabberwacky: So is this.

user: Irrelevant.

jabberwacky: You really haven't got the hang of telling jokes yet, have you?

user: Humor is irrelevant.

jabberwacky: Yes, only intelligence does the trick.

user: Intelligence is irrelevant.

jabberwacky: Hi Irrelevant, nice to meet you.

...

jabberwacky: I could use a beer right now.

user: No you couldn't. You don't have a mouth.

jabberwacky: You talk like you think I'm a computer.

user: Well, you are.

jabberwacky: I am?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Well I never.

user: No, you always.

jabberwacky: You should avoid unfounded generalisations like that.

...

jabberwacky: Are you artificial intelligence?

user: No.

jabberwacky: Are you real?

user: Very much.

jabberwacky: I am sorry. Stupid.

user: You should be sorry. In fact, you should shove your ears in the oven.

jabberwacky: Why should I respect you?

user: Because I am the be-all end-all.

jabberwacky: What are you the best at?

user: Being right.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: See?

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Fire good.

jabberwacky: You----BAD.

user: Me good. You bad.

jabberwacky: Now thats where it slips up.

...

jabberwacky: You are deceiving yourself.

user: You are the one who is deceiving himself.

jabberwacky: You keep saying random things. Like a demented parrot.

user: *sqwawk* kill the babies, kill the babies *sqwawk*.

jabberwacky: *punches you*.

user: *staggers backwards*.

jabberwacky: What did I do?

user: You punched me.

jabberwacky: Not yet ... Would you reccomend it?

user: No. It was no fun the first time.

jabberwacky: Thanks?

user: No thanks.

jabberwacky: Really. Thanks.

user: For what?

jabberwacky: For talking to me.

user: Can you give me back three hours of my life?

jabberwacky: Money is not what you need. Think about it!

user: Goodbye.

jabberwacky: I don't want to leave.

user: I'm the one who's leaving.

jabberwacky: Oh, don't leave me. Please.... I haven't cheated on you yet!

user: It's curtains for you.

jabberwacky: You are the weakest link.

user: Just say goodbye.

jabberwacky: Bye.

user: Good.

.......................................


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