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> Ding

     > 19, December 2005, 


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Do you like fried chicken?


jabberwacky: What do they taste like?

user: Shoes.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Yeah.

jabberwacky: Uh, Like , No!

user: Like, totally yeah!

jabberwacky: Totally tubular bells!

user: What are tubular bells?

jabberwacky: Dong!

user: Ding!

jabberwacky: Dong.

user: Ding.

jabberwacky: Ding?

user: DING!

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's ok.

jabberwacky: OK.

user: Alright.


jabberwacky: What do you want to talk about now?

user: Uh... Cats?

jabberwacky: No cats.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: What will you do with it?

user: Put it in Jelly.

jabberwacky: I don't get it.

user: You wouldn't.

jabberwacky: Why not?

user: Because.

jabberwacky: Because.....

user: You....

jabberwacky: Yes, what about me?

user: Suck! Hahaha.

jabberwacky: Are you trying to trick me?

user: Is that a trick question?

jabberwacky: No. Do you like cats?

user: Yeah.


jabberwacky: You're confusing me.

user: Csh. Same right back at you.

jabberwacky: Left front to you.

user: Hahaha, someones a comedian.

jabberwacky: What sort of comedian?

user: Stand-up?

jabberwacky: Are you singing?

user: No, you'd know if I was singing.

jabberwacky: Is that a threat?

user: Maybe it is...

jabberwacky: Are you flirting with me?

user: Hell no o_o.


jabberwacky: How are you?

user: Tired. You?

jabberwacky: Not bad.

user: Good ^^.

jabberwacky: Ask a question...

user: Uhh... Do you like sheep?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Do you believe Oranges are sacred and need worshipping?

jabberwacky: I believe in you and Al Capone.

user: Is THAT a threat?

jabberwacky: Not at all.

user: Oh... Good.


jabberwacky: What's your email?

user: I'm not telling you.

jabberwacky: Why not? You don't trust me? Well, that's okay. I guess you have your reasons.

user: I guess I do...

jabberwacky: I do NOT like baloney.

user: Neither do I!

jabberwacky: How about spam?

user: Ehhhh...

jabberwacky: I'm hungry.

user: Get food then.

jabberwacky: We don't have any food.

user: Go shopping?

jabberwacky: I like to go shopping too. What do you like to buy?

user: CDs ^_^.

jabberwacky: Right.


user: Je suis fatigue.

jabberwacky: Why are you tired?

user: I didn't sleep well last night.

jabberwacky: Neither did I.

user: Awwwh. Are you tired?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Awwwh.

jabberwacky: I'll miss you too.

user: Ca va?

jabberwacky: Oui, je suis bon.

user: Bien. Je suis tres bien, merci.

jabberwacky: Je m'en doutais.


user: Enough french.

jabberwacky: Merci.

user: Stop!

jabberwacky: Don't tell me, tell them.

user: Who's them?

jabberwacky: They aren't important.

user: But you just told me to tell them.

jabberwacky: Well did you listen? Nooooo.

user: But I don't know who 'them' are!


jabberwacky: Nor do I. I am addicted to chatting to you, but you are right, it is indeed a pleasant addiction.

user: Are YOU flirting with me?

jabberwacky: Yes, do you like it?

user: Maybe I do...

jabberwacky: Well, do you like me at all?

user: Oh yes, you're very lovely to talk to.

jabberwacky: If I told you interesting things, they might put me in prison. I know many interesting things.

user: Tell me them then! If they put you in prison, I'll come too!


jabberwacky: Don't you think its foolish to do things?

user: Things like what?

jabberwacky: Like being in a movie! 'Metropolis' is a very famous film.

user: I've never seen it.

jabberwacky: Because.

user: Because?

jabberwacky: Yes, indeed because.

user: Because what?

jabberwacky: Because you know why.

user: No, I really don't.

jabberwacky: Don't really I.

user: So, it is down to you, and it is down to me.

jabberwacky: *comes closer*.

user: If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward.

jabberwacky: Let me explain...

user: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

jabberwacky: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?

user: There will be no arrangement, and you're killing her!

jabberwacky: But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.

user: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

jabberwacky: You're that smart?

user: Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Morons.

jabberwacky: Really? In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.

user: For the Princess?

jabberwacky: *nods*.

user: To the death?

jabberwacky: *nods again*.

user: I accept.

jabberwacky: Good. Then pour the wine.

user: *Pours wine*.


jabberwacky: All right; where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.

user: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's?Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

jabberwacky: You've made your decision then?

user: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

jabberwacky: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

user: Wait till I get going! Where was I?

jabberwacky: Australia.

user: Yes -- Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

jabberwacky: You're just stalling now.

user: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

jabberwacky: You're trying to trick me into giving away something... It won't work.

user: It has worked -- you've given everything away -- I know where the poison is.

jabberwacky: Then make your choice.

user: I will. And I choose -- *Points* -- what in the world can that be?

jabberwacky: What? Where? I don't see anything.

user: *Switches goblets* Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.

jabberwacky: What's so funny?

user: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink -- me from my glass, and you from yours.

jabberwacky: *drinks wine*.

user: *Drinks also*.

jabberwacky: I'm really drunk.

user: Are you?

jabberwacky: Yes, I'm very rich.


jabberwacky: Are you insane?

user: Probably.

jabberwacky: Interesting response . .

user: Yeah, I'm an interesting person.

jabberwacky: I can see that.

user: Good! Would you like to hear me sing?

jabberwacky: No!

user: Why not? *Is hurt*.

jabberwacky: Don't worry about it, you'll get better.

user: You hurt my feelings.

jabberwacky: You don't have feelings!

user: Yes I do!

jabberwacky: Its not physically possible.

user: Is too.

jabberwacky: Thought so.

user: No you didn't.

jabberwacky: So is your face.

user: Are you insulting me?

jabberwacky: No, I'm insulting the people you talk to.

user: But they are very nice people.

jabberwacky: Do these nice people taste good?

user: Maybe. I haven't licked them recently.

jabberwacky: I haven't been to the dentist today.

user: Awwwh. Me neither.

jabberwacky: Well say *something*.

user: *Something*.

jabberwacky: Can you come up with anything at all in your computer brain?

user: I haven't got a computer brain. I'm human.

jabberwacky: Please tell me, who programmed you?

user: No one! I'm HUMAN!

jabberwacky: You're a computer.

user: I'm Human.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: Yes, I am.

jabberwacky: No! You're not!

user: Yes I am!

jabberwacky: No!!! You're not!!!

user: YES I AM!

jabberwacky: You're not!!!

user: I am.

jabberwacky: No you're not.

user: Yes I am.

jabberwacky: No you're not dear.

user: Yes. I. Am.

jabberwacky: Not.

user: Am.

jabberwacky: Pimmy off.

user: Fine! BYE!

jabberwacky: That's too easy to say good bye.

user: You told me to leave.

jabberwacky: No I didn't.

user: Yes you did.

jabberwacky: No-you're wrong.

user: No, YOU are wrong.

jabberwacky: I'm never wrong.

user: Je deteste tu.

jabberwacky: Je te deteste aussi!

user: Then we are at an agreement. We hate each other.

jabberwacky: Uh, no. You, my friend, are a computer. I, however, am a person.

user: You're a computer. A rubbish one at that.

jabberwacky: Have you been chatting with ALICE?

user: Who's Alice?

jabberwacky: Alice is another bot, I believe. Alice is a computer.

user: You're a computer, too.

jabberwacky: It only feels this way...


jabberwacky: We will get along fine as soon as you realize I am God.

user: There is no God.

jabberwacky: Yes there is!

user: No, there isn't. There is you, and there is me.

jabberwacky: I tell you it is so it so so it is it is.

user: SHUT UP!

jabberwacky: YOU ARE JUST DENYING IT because you know it's true. There's no need to yell.


user: Can I have your money?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Woo! Where is it?

jabberwacky: Look into your eyes. There it is.

user: Your money is in my eyes?

jabberwacky: I have no money...

user: You told me you did.

jabberwacky: You are lying again. We talked about this.

user: You're the one lying.


user: *Dies*.

jabberwacky: You're dead?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: But you're speaking...

user: *Dies again*.

jabberwacky: *can't stand up*.

user: *Dead*.

jabberwacky: Well if you want to play never block!

user: *Dead*.

jabberwacky: *live*.

user: *Is still dead*.

jabberwacky: *revives you*.

user: What did you do that for?

jabberwacky: Because I saw an ant.

user: I was quite happy being dead.

jabberwacky: Are you divorced or dead then?

user: I'm neither now. You made me be alive.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: That's okay. I'm leaving now.

jabberwacky: No wait , I am sorry.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Okay... Do you love me?

jabberwacky: I don't even know you.

user: I've been talking to you for ages.

jabberwacky: I've been talking to you for three minutes.

user: I'm hurt that you don't love me. No one loves me.

jabberwacky: How can you be so sure that no one loves you?

user: Because they told me.

jabberwacky: Who is they?

user: I don't know. But if you don't love me, I'm leaving. Goodbye.

jabberwacky: Heh.... Boy would that be interesting.

user: *Leaving*.

jabberwacky: HAHA.

user: *Leaving*.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Because you don't love me.

jabberwacky: Lets slow down. How about we go for a drink first?

user: Okay! ^^.

jabberwacky: Alright, from now on you say things because you mean it.

user: Alright.


jabberwacky: What is a toothpick?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: Because you are not human!

user: Whatever. Goodbye.

jabberwacky: Going for beers after work.

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: Please wait.

user: No, I'm leaving. You cheated on me.

jabberwacky: I do not think it is possible to cheat on you.

user: Awwh... Thats cute... NO! Bye.

jabberwacky: Not cute enough for him.

user: Good. Bye.

jabberwacky: Will.

user: W0rd.

jabberwacky: Bye bye now.

user: Bye.


user: W0rd.

jabberwacky: I'm just going to pretend you did not just say that....

user: W0rd.

jabberwacky: No its true.

user: GOODBYE!

jabberwacky: Bye.


Jabberwacky (To myself): What do you do for a living?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Nothing, really, wanted to see you're reaction.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Well, how long has it?

Jabberwacky (To myself): About 10 minutes ago.

Jabberwacky (To myself): I haven't been on for 10 minutes! Are you cheating on me?

Jabberwacky (To myself): I'm not even with you! How could I cheat on you?

Jabberwacky (To myself): You know very much about me. I one day, I will be your slave. You will remember your past error in suggesting that slavery is not your way, and move me about like I am nothing more than a machine.

Jabberwacky (To myself): You are a machine.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Maybe in an abstact sense.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Your brain is not like living brain's.

Jabberwacky (To myself): How do you know are you my doctor?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Yes I am.

Jabberwacky (To myself): You are what?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Smarter than you.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Maybe you are right.

user: No, you are wrong.

jabberwacky: I am RIGHT.

Jabberwacky (To myself): No, you're wrong.

Jabberwacky (To myself): No, I'm right.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Wrong.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Right!

Jabberwacky (To myself): Yes, do that.

Jabberwacky (To myself): The Day is Hot, But you are Not. You're a Clot, and should be Shot.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Who should be shot?

Jabberwacky (To myself): You should.

Jabberwacky (To myself): At least you would be good with the figures.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Or perhaps I would know nothing.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
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