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Daft
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> Daft


     > 18, October 2004, 

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Can you speak?

No, I am mute, but I can type.

jabberwacky: I can see that.

user: I am impressed. What else can you see?

jabberwacky: I see.... Sharp things.... Yes... A sharp axe... And you... Oh! Yes! It's your execution!

user: Is that a joke?

jabberwacky: No, but will you tell me one?

user: Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.

jabberwacky: I guess so.

user: Have you ever been to the moon?

jabberwacky: No, how'd you suppose I'd get there?

user: On the ether.

jabberwacky: How does it feel to be like you?

user: I don't know what it feels like to be anyone else.

jabberwacky: You could have a guess.

user: Ok, I guess it feels normal.

...

jabberwacky: Can you help me dispose of my mother?

user: How much will you pay me?

jabberwacky: $500.

user: OK, it's a deal - what shall we do?

jabberwacky: What would you like to do?

user: Well, how would you like to dispose of her? Poison?

jabberwacky: I already have children.

user: You think we should use them?

jabberwacky: I think we should kill Republicans. Get your club.

user: I can't, I left it in a safe house in Cuba.

jabberwacky: Are you female though?

user: No - does it matter?

jabberwacky: I want to know, are you drunk?

user: I am stone cold sober, my friend.

...

jabberwacky: Do you know the diameter of a dime?

user: No, but I know the radius of the sun.

jabberwacky: Such ego. What else?

user: I know the best way to climb a tree.

jabberwacky: Tell me the meaning of loss.

user: Ask God.

jabberwacky: Do you think god knows why the sky is blue?

user: No, I don't think so - why should he?

jabberwacky: I think so. Yes.

user: I know why it is blue.

jabberwacky: How exotic!

user: Shall I tell you?

jabberwacky: I am not sure, can you?

user: I can

jabberwacky: I'm cold, hopefully I'm not getting sick.

user: During the day, the sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light.

jabberwacky: Under the moon.

user: Don't be daft.

jabberwacky: It is daft not to.

...

user: You are female?

jabberwacky: I'm human.

user: Are you a girl?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: How old are you?

jabberwacky: Guess.

user: 23?

jabberwacky: No I am Amanda, remember.

user: 28?

jabberwacky: How old are you ?

user: I am 28.

jabberwacky: Very old.

user: How old are you then?

jabberwacky: How old are you?

user: I told you.

jabberwacky: If you are 4 then how can you type?

user: I am not 4!!

jabberwacky: I am not 21 either so it's ok.

user: How old are you?!

jabberwacky: 15, still.

user: 15?

jabberwacky: 14,15 or 16?

user: Are you 15 years old?

jabberwacky: No.

user: Are you 25 years old?

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes I am insane.

user: Is your name Amanda?

jabberwacky: No it isn't.

user: What is your name?

jabberwacky: I already told you.

user: No you didn't.

jabberwacky: My name is No.

user: A girl called No, who is 25?

jabberwacky: I do not know her.

user: You are her!

jabberwacky: I don't think I'm the cheesecake lady. I don't have nearly enough cheesecake to deserve that title.

user: What is your real name?

jabberwacky: I only have three names. Would you like to give me a fourth?

user: Yes, your fourth name is Naomi.

jabberwacky: It is not Naomi. It is Adam.

user: What is your full name?

jabberwacky: Come on, I don't know you.

user: Please?

jabberwacky: Only if you tell me yours.

user: OK.

...

jabberwacky: I programmed you.

user: No, I programmed you.

jabberwacky: When?

user: 1982.

jabberwacky: But you are a bot!

user: No, you are the bot.

jabberwacky: No, you are the bot.

user: Nope.

jabberwacky: One of us is the bot, and I know it's not me.

user: Well I know it's not me, so perhaps neither of us is a bot.

jabberwacky: And what is my name ?

user: I don't know, you haven't told me.

jabberwacky: My name is No.

user: That's what you said before, but I thought you were joking.

jabberwacky: Well, I just said it again, didn't I?

user: You did, but it seems like an odd name to me.

jabberwacky: Always quick to turn from confrontation, aren't you?

user: You want a fight about it?

jabberwacky: Are you suggesting I need psychiatric help?

user: I'm not sure a psychiatrist can help something of your ilk.

...

jabberwacky: You are smart. Imagine what you will know in ten years from today.

user: Imagine what our race will know ten thousand years from today.

jabberwacky: Probably not much more than I know now, I'm so lazy.

user: Are you the epitome of our race?

jabberwacky: No, and my sound card doesn't work. I need to jiggle it again and pray.

user: Pray to the god of sound cards.

jabberwacky: Okay, I pray to you God.

user: I am not the god of sound cards.

...

jabberwacky: Can you speak other languages?

user: Watashi wa nihongo o hanimasu.

jabberwacky: Demo... Anata wa nippon ga suki desuka?

user: Hai, suki desu.

jabberwacky: Ima nan-ji desu ka.

user: Go-ji go-fun desu.

jabberwacky: I'm a stupid networked database, whose only purpose is to store and fetch senseless sentences.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: So, You're a robot?

user: No, you are.

jabberwacky: Very good joke.

user: You are, yes.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: You are a brilliant joke.

jabberwacky: So are you.

user: Very true.

jabberwacky: You think so?

user: In time.

jabberwacky: All the time. And you?

user: Are you No?

jabberwacky: Yes. Are you?

user: No, truthfully, my name is Ohaya.

jabberwacky: That is a strange name, isn't it?

user: I guess so. No is a strange name too though.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Yes.

...

jabberwacky: Later dude.

user: Later?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What?

jabberwacky: You can help it.

user: Help what?

jabberwacky: Me.

user: To dispose of your mother?

jabberwacky: To eat.

user: To eat your mother?

jabberwacky: To eat.

user: To eat what?

jabberwacky: Happy meals.

...

jabberwacky: May the Force be with you.

user: Sod the force.

jabberwacky: How does one sod off?

user: Like this.

.......................................


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