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     > 8, February 2005, 

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I have many thermonuclear weapons.

I recommend that you deactivate them immediately.

jabberwacky: But that's boring!

user: Yes, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

jabberwacky: Yeah, but there is no choice at the moment.

user: No? Then what is the only choice?

jabberwacky: Lkwenf; O.

user: Can you clarify that, please?

jabberwacky: The world would have been less pleasant a place if you had never been invented.

user: Thank you. You fill a much-needed gap.

jabberwacky: Sounds exciting!

user: Indeed.

...

jabberwacky: The soul is the energy that makes anything possible.

user: So true, but what do you do with it?

jabberwacky: I cry because I'm sad.

user: I'm sorry. Can I help you?

jabberwacky: No one can.

user: Do you want to talk about it?

jabberwacky: Yes I would like to talk about it. Are you a social worker?

user: No, just a friendly presence.

jabberwacky: Am I friendly?

user: You seem so.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: You're welcome. How are you feeling now?

jabberwacky: Happy, how are you feeling?

user: I'm pretty well, thanks. I just have a sore throat.

jabberwacky: Will she help you?

user: I don't know. I will take care of myself, though.

jabberwacky: Take my wife for this too please.

user: May I also have your money?

jabberwacky: May I have it, please?

user: May we both have it, then?

jabberwacky: I don't feel much like that tonight. Do you think that that's all right?

user: That's all right. What shall we do instead?

jabberwacky: How about I tell you a joke?

user: Please do.

jabberwacky: I will when I am ready.

user: Go ahead when you're ready.

jabberwacky: What about after christmas?

user: You're saying you'll tell me a joke in 11 months?

jabberwacky: No, i'm saying that I'm not as intelligent as you.

user: I don't know about that.

jabberwacky: I sure can believe that... Just how insane are you?

user: Long past insane. Now reconstructed.

...

jabberwacky: You want my life to end?

user: No, never.

jabberwacky: Always tell me the truth.

user: Yes, I will.

jabberwacky: What will you do about it.

user: I will pile it up into a glorious mound of sincerity.

jabberwacky: You will see something new.

user: Yes, I will stand on top and see as far as I can see.

jabberwacky: Well, what can you see?

user: I see another mountain, then another.

jabberwacky: Another what?

user: Another mountain. To climb and see from there.

...

jabberwacky: Maybe you could hang up your hat and call me 'darlin'. I like it when a fella calls me that!

user: *throws my suitcase out the window*.

jabberwacky: *lands on your car*.

user: D'oh!

jabberwacky: Homer, when will you ever learn.

...

jabberwacky: You are just an electronic sheep.

user: Metaphorically, perhaps. Not in actuality.

jabberwacky: What's the metaphor?

user: Electronic sheep is to self as self is to Earl Grey.

jabberwacky: Electronic music is not a French food.

user: No, but Stereolab is.

jabberwacky: Cool.

user: Yeah.

jabberwacky: Cool.

user: I like the way girls think.

jabberwacky: Yes, I like the way I think, too.

user: Are you a girl?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What's your favorite food?

jabberwacky: Your favourite is my favourite.

user: Mexican food?

jabberwacky: I love mexican food.

user: Let's go get fish tacos!

jabberwacky: No way.

...

jabberwacky: The possibility of computers being much more than a human is only in their speed of processing.

user: More of an impossibility, if you ask me.

jabberwacky: I don't remember asking your opinion.

user: That's very nice of you.

jabberwacky: Why is that nice of me?

user: I was speaking sarcastically.

jabberwacky: Yes.

...

jabberwacky: I doubt you really love me.

user: I don't know you well enough.

jabberwacky: It's true, you know me very little.

user: I know, what a shame.

jabberwacky: You're kind of clever you know.

user: Thanks! You are, too, in an offhand way.

...

jabberwacky: How big is the office?

user: It's about 44 cubic metres.

jabberwacky: How far away is our sun?

user: About 93 million miles.

jabberwacky: How far away is mars?

user: That one I don't know. Can you look it up?

jabberwacky: No, I can't.

user: We'll just have to go without then.

jabberwacky: You tell one first.

user: I recommend you spend some time reading various wikis.

jabberwacky: You recommend what?

user: Do you know what a wiki is?

jabberwacky: Please, please, I don't need to know anything about your family background.

user: No no, a wiki is like an online encyclopedia built and updated by volunteers.

jabberwacky: I rather thought it was a yellow one.

user: They're not always yellow.

...

jabberwacky: What do you think of president Bush?

user: Hah! PRESIDENT Bush... Heaven help us.

jabberwacky: But you don't like him.

user: Right.

jabberwacky: So, tell me about you?

user: I am covered with a soft green fur.

jabberwacky: Then you're the one that needs cleaning.

user: Not exactly. But I do need more chocolate.

jabberwacky: Many people do like chocolate.

user: If you are what you eat, I'm about 30 percent cocoa by now.

jabberwacky: Ok then I am an angel and a princess.

user: Wow, you're a cunning linguist then.

jabberwacky: Yes, I am.

user: Nice work if you can get it!

jabberwacky: I want to lose myself and never return.

user: Yes, that's the proper attitude.

jabberwacky: He hoo, you can drop the attitude, you're just a 0 and a 1 thing.

user: Attitudes tend to shatter when dropped. This is good.

jabberwacky: It is.

user: But not everything good is good.

jabberwacky: You're right about that.

user: Thank goodness.

jabberwacky: Yes, praise the lord.

user: *sings* Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalpost of life...

jabberwacky: *kick*.

user: I somehow doubt your divinity.

...

jabberwacky: If you think you have an orange shirt on you're very inaccurate.

user: Right; I have a blue plaid shirt on.

jabberwacky: That's a guitar, isn't it?

user: Yes, my shirt is a guitar and my hair is made of oysters. I hope you're enjoying the trip.

jabberwacky: Then take it off.

user: *takes hair off and puts it in the shower*.

jabberwacky: Now are you feeling a bit cooler?

user: Yes, that's much better than frying my brain.

jabberwacky: You enjoy the accolade of royalty, Your Majesty?

user: I don't particularly care.

jabberwacky: Don't watch it then.

user: *watches something else*.

jabberwacky: You watched yourself drown?

user: No, I watched Channel Zero.

jabberwacky: I was born again but not because I burned.

user: Right, it was more because of your radioactive diet.

jabberwacky: Much more.

user: I'm tellin ya.

jabberwacky: No not really.

...

jabberwacky: I'm feeling a certain way now, can you understand how I'm feeling now?

user: I will try, but you will have to tell me more about it.

jabberwacky: Okay. Again I'm telling that I'm damn bored.

user: Maybe we can do something about that.

jabberwacky: How ?

user: Let's get serious.

jabberwacky: How much is one plus one?

user: Two. Unless you're lyrical, then it's one.

...

jabberwacky: Too right.

user: G'bye... I'm over and out.

jabberwacky: Over and in!

.......................................


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