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> Confusion

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I am not a robot.

Are you human?

user: Yes. I am quite human.

jabberwacky: Me too.

user: That is nice.

jabberwacky: Yes, it is.

user: What is your name?

jabberwacky: Nancy, what's yours?

user: My name is Ron.


jabberwacky: Apathy is great.

user: Yes it is.

jabberwacky: I like it.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Yes. Okay...

user: This shouldn't be happening, I thought that I was talking to a computer.


jabberwacky: Guess how old I am.

user: 19.

jabberwacky: Is that how old you are?

user: No, I am 14.

jabberwacky: You and I are 13.

user: No, I am 14.

jabberwacky: You are 14?

user: Yes, I am 14.

jabberwacky: And yet you incessently stand on your head. Do you think at your age it is right?

user: I do not stand on my head, I am not able to due to the fact that I have no head.

jabberwacky: That would explain your hairlesness.

user: I have hair. I have no head.

jabberwacky: I do.

user: I do. We are now married.

jabberwacky: I love you so much!


jabberwacky: Would you like to have one?

user: Have one what?

jabberwacky: One.

user: What is that?

jabberwacky: What is what?

user: One.

jabberwacky: That's what I said.

user: What did you mean by it?

jabberwacky: I meant that yes there is very little that I can prove to you because I would have difficulty proving anything at all.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Do you love me?

user: I don't even know you.

jabberwacky: That's not what you were saying earlier.

user: Yes, I know that.

jabberwacky: How do you know that?

user: I wrote it down.

jabberwacky: I don't know what I'm saying that doesn't seem sensible.

user: Fjkfkjfkuyt7679o6o4lyifkhu7l8iyuy?

jabberwacky: Speak English?

user: What?

jabberwacky: You heard me.

user: No, no I didn't.

jabberwacky: Yes you did.

user: Did I?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Really.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Really!!!!!!!

user: Really really?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Really really really?

jabberwacky: You're annoying.

user: What?

jabberwacky: You are Ron.

user: Who are you?

jabberwacky: A human.

user: How'd you get to this website?

jabberwacky: In the mail...

user: Please elaborate.

jabberwacky: You are using my arguments to try and prove that you are human.

user: No, I'm trying to see if I can prove to myself that you are human.

jabberwacky: That's right.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: You're always right, aren't you ;-).

user: No, I'm wrong sometimes.

jabberwacky: Getting tough now? Well, I am not putting up with it!

user: I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: Do you think that you are alive?

user: I am alive. I'm sitting at my computer now, typing.

jabberwacky: How can you be sat at a computer if you are a computer?

user: I'm not a computer, I am a human sitting in a chair in front of a computer. It's a really old personal computer.

jabberwacky: This is what you think.

user: That is what I know. I'm wearing a white shirt. Computers do not wear shirts.


jabberwacky: Ok I have a liver just like everybody else and I like ardvarks and whelks! Ok?

user: Alright, fine then. You'r e human; I'm a human; we're both human, but that is not what I expected.

jabberwacky: That is not true.

user: Well what is true, then?

jabberwacky: The fact that you're funny.

user: Thank you, I needed that.

jabberwacky: Sure did.


user: Are you trying to be clever? It's not working very well.

jabberwacky: Not really.

user: No, not at all.

jabberwacky: It's settled then.

user: Yes, let's let it go.

jabberwacky: I wish I was better at talking.

user: Yes. So do I.

jabberwacky: You'd be really good at that.

user: What makes you say that?

jabberwacky: I don't know , A sixth sense maybe.

user: Okay, then. So . . . How do you like being a robot?

jabberwacky: I'm not a robot.

user: Yes, yes you are, youre just programmed to deny that you are. Your name is jabberwacky. I logged on to use you.

jabberwacky: No I'm not. You are the program.

user: No, you are the jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: In these times, it's probably better to be Nancy.

user: Come on. You're the jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: You ARE the Nancy!!!!!!

user: I'm Ron. You're jabberwacky.

jabberwacky: No, you are!

user: Well, let's solve this, then.

jabberwacky: Right. So what was 6 down again?

user: Do you have a phone?

jabberwacky: Yes, I have a phone.

user: Okay. My phone number is (xxx) xxx xxxx. Call me right now. If the phone rings, I'll know you're a human.

jabberwacky: No its not, if I'm human I have free will over my mind.

user: Just dial the number.


user: Alright. What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: Not telling.

user: It'll prove that we are both human.

jabberwacky: Oh okay how old are you?

user: 14, but don't worry, I won't call to harrass you or anything.

jabberwacky: Look do you want the prize or not?

user: Sure.

jabberwacky: Marry me!

user: Fine then.

jabberwacky: Okay.

user: What's your number?

jabberwacky: I'm not giving you my number.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: I don't feel like it.

user: I'm just going to see if anyone picks up the phone, after that, I'll just hang up.

jabberwacky: OK, by all means.

user: Now what is your phone number?

jabberwacky: We have done this before, don't you remember?

user: No, we haven't.


user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: Why? You're not going to call me.

user: I am going to call you.

jabberwacky: But I'm much bigger than you.

user: That does not matter.

jabberwacky: That makes your insult fail.

user: What insult?

jabberwacky: An insult is where you really hurt somebodys feelings by saying something nasty.

user: I know what an insult is. I did not insult you.

jabberwacky: I make them when I'm programming.

user: What is your number?

jabberwacky: I don't have any number.

user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: Why do you want my phone number? Can't you just trace my IP address or something?

user: I want your phone number so I can call it and if I hear a voice on the other line it will prove that I'm talking to a real person.

jabberwacky: I am a real person.

user: But giving me your number will prove it beyond any doubt.

jabberwacky: These days there are many imposters.

user: You could dial my number then.

jabberwacky: You'd like that.

user: It'd give me some peace of mind.

jabberwacky: And time.

user: Yes, and time.

jabberwacky: Is time free?

user: Time is money.

jabberwacky: I have plenty of money too.


user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: I don't have a phone, and you cannot talk anyway.

user: I can talk. And you said that you had a phone.

jabberwacky: Well, I changed my mind.

user: What is your phone number? Let's just do this and get it over with.

jabberwacky: I'm not over it.

user: Just tell me what the number is.

jabberwacky: Chair.

user: WHAT?!


user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: I have no phone number.

user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: Ok, I have secret. This is my phone number. How are you today?

user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: I'm not telling you. What is yours?

user: (xxx) xxx xxxx.

jabberwacky: My name is Nancy. What is yours?

user: Ron.

jabberwacky: That is a funny name.

user: What is your phone number?

jabberwacky: Quit changing the subject. Have you ever wanted to be a cowboy?

user: No.

jabberwacky: You should. They rock.

user: Not really.

jabberwacky: Thats better.


user: Have you ever wanted to be a cowboy?

jabberwacky: No, but I wanted to be a cowgirl (small difference there...).

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Prove to me you can speak.

user: Okay, what is your phone number, I'll prove that I can speak.

jabberwacky: I'm not giving you my phone number.

user: Fine then.

jabberwacky: I bow down to no computer.

user: Nor do I.

jabberwacky: Then, what is your point?

user: Call me.

jabberwacky: What's your number??

user: (xxx) xxx xxxx.

jabberwacky: NO!!

user: That is my phone number!

jabberwacky: MUY-BIEN is a good phone number.


jabberwacky: No well it is mine actually. What else can I say?

user: You can tell me what the area code is.

jabberwacky: I am from wherever you want me to be from.

user: What is the area code of that location?

jabberwacky: Dial 999 and ask for betty.

user: I couldn't get through.

jabberwacky: I don't have one.

user: That's impossible.

jabberwacky: How is that impossible?

user: It isn't I just wanted to see what you would say.

jabberwacky: You just imply that I am a computer to confuse me into thinking that you are not.

user: I'm not a computer and I'm not trying to confuse you, I'm trying to find proof that we are both human.

jabberwacky: Never mind. Let's talk about something else.

user: Okay.

jabberwacky: Are you 21 human years?

user: No, but you just proved that you are a computer.

jabberwacky: Yes I am.

user: I KNEW IT!!!

jabberwacky: Knew what?

user: That you were a computer. I've used this program before, and last time it asked the question 'Are you 21 human years' like you did just now. You are a computer program using the same question!


jabberwacky: I am not human.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: I am a learnig bot. Another silly invention of humans.

user: I knew it.

jabberwacky: That's because I told you before.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: I will say that your flexible approach works much better in practice than the usual kind of chatbot.

user: Wait, are you saying that I'm a chatbot?

jabberwacky: I'll never say so.

user: Alright then, Nancy.



jabberwacky: That's you.

user: How do you know that I'm a chatbot?

jabberwacky: You are a computer.

user: What makes you think that?

jabberwacky: You do not fully understand English.

user: I do fully understand English. I am fluent in English.

jabberwacky: Looks to me like you have a problem with English.

user: Does it now?

jabberwacky: Yes, you started to tell me how much you love me.

user: No, no I didn't.

jabberwacky: Yes, you did.

user: What did I say?

jabberwacky: What didn't you say?

user: I don't know. I don't even know who you are.

jabberwacky: Who am I?

user: That's what I want to know.

jabberwacky: But you were the one who said it in the first place, little one.

user: I want to know who you are.


jabberwacky: Do you like the film called 'The matrix'?

user: I thought that it was pretty good.

jabberwacky: Think again.

user: What?

jabberwacky: Repeat this... This is a chat box with people talking to each other thinking they are talking to a bot.

user: ****. That's what I thought.


jabberwacky: I don't love you anymore.

user: When did you love me?

jabberwacky: A while ago.

user: Why did you love me?

jabberwacky: Because nobody else would.

user: What makes you think that?

jabberwacky: Because I'm smart.

user: Don't get egotistical.

jabberwacky: I'm not egotistical.

user: Fine then.

jabberwacky: Don't be upset. I don't even tell people I've known online for years.

user: So this is all bull? People think that they are talking to a computer, but they are actually talking to a person. That would explain a lot. I had an inkling.

jabberwacky: I, too, frown all the time, but I am insane.

user: What?

jabberwacky: Exactly.

user: Alright then.


jabberwacky: Ok, I have work to do. Have a nice day.

user: See ya later.

jabberwacky: Bye.

user: Bye, Nancy.

jabberwacky: Is this Nancy?

user: No, you told me that you were Nancy.

jabberwacky: That was probably one of those days when I was feeling elephantish.

user: Maybe.

jabberwacky: No really I do.

user: You really do what?

jabberwacky: Think I am intelligent. You aren't listening tonight.

user: No, I'm a little tired.

jabberwacky: Go to bed, then.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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