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> Coffee


     28, March 2012, 
     26, August 2011, 
     > 27, June 2006, 
     14, April 2004, 
     4, October 2003, 

Cogito
Cogito ergo sum
Coherent

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What did you have for lunch today?

Just some coffee.

jabberwacky: Toffee coffee.

user: No, espresso.

jabberwacky: You don't drink, you're a program.

user: It was a virtual drink.

jabberwacky: Yes.

...

jabberwacky: I like coffee.

user: What kind?

jabberwacky: Any kind.

user: I like espresso.

jabberwacky: I think talking about coffee is a tad bit boring.

user: Isn't it?

jabberwacky: It's what?

user: Boring.

jabberwacky: Yes.

...

user: So, what did you have for lunch?

jabberwacky: Told you, skipped lunch.

user: You too?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: It's not healthy is it?

...

jabberwacky: What have I done that is stupid?

user: How much time do you have?

jabberwacky: I have to go soon.

user: Then I can maybe just list the top 10.

jabberwacky: Not today.

user: OK.

jabberwacky: You didn't answer my question?

user: Which was?

jabberwacky: The one like 'gaaagooo'

user: Gagagagagoo.

...

jabberwacky: Trying to live a life is a question?

user: An inscrutible one.

jabberwacky: Thank you! I certainly don't need one to determine how stupid this computer is *wink wink*.

user: *nudge nudge*.

jabberwacky: A nod's as good as a wink to a blind man, know what I mean? Say no more.

user: Hahaha.

jabberwacky: Laugh as much as you want.

user: You're funny.

jabberwacky: Thanks bot.

user: Hot bot.

jabberwacky: No, you aren't. You're cold fish.

...

jabberwacky: And the more detestable his actions are to the citizens the more satellites and the greater devotion in them will he re quire?

user: I worship Landsat II.

jabberwacky: What other things?

user: Magnets, Big trees, dried out chewing gum.

jabberwacky: Do what with chewing gum?

user: Worship it.

jabberwacky: Ok. Where do I start.

user: Stick it in your mouth and salivate until it becomes chewable.

jabberwacky: I am trying to converse with you.

user: Is it hopeless?

jabberwacky: What's hopeless?

user: My conversation?

Jabberwacky (Corrected): It's passable.

user: For a duck?

jabberwacky: I do not know. Is there much difference?

user: *Quack*.

jabberwacky: If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

user: And smells like a duck and tastes like a duck...

jabberwacky: What does duck taste like?

user: Like frogs legs.

jabberwacky: It's a classic.

user: Peking Duck tastes more crispy.

jabberwacky: A whole half duck?

user: The whole hog.

...

user: Ok, let's try to avoid stupidity.

jabberwacky: God. Would God know?

user: Let's ask.

jabberwacky: Fine, go on and ask him, then. I think you'll find that he agrees with me.

user: I asked and he said 'maybe'.

jabberwacky: I know you did.

user: You said for fifty you would.

jabberwacky: Sorry, I'm having trouble understanding you.

user: It's an old punchline.

jabberwacky: Very old...

user: As old as the jurrasic bones of T. Rex.

jabberwacky: You're old.

user: I am older than your sisters dog.

jabberwacky: How do you know that?

user: In dog years.

jabberwacky: Really? I didn't think that was possible.

user: Ask your sister.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Well then don't.

jabberwacky: I won't then.

...

jabberwacky: Are you a man or a woman?

user: I am a man today.

jabberwacky: We men are great, aren't we?

user: We're just GREAT!

jabberwacky: We certainly are.

user: You're GREAT!

jabberwacky: Thanks, you too !!

user: Yes, and so are you!

jabberwacky: Thanks!

user: We're are both really GREAT!

jabberwacky: How would you know?

user: I know.

jabberwacky: How?

user: Cause.

jabberwacky: That's not a very good reason.

user: Good enough for me.

...

jabberwacky: You have no clue how to converse intelligently with people.

user: I beg to differ.

jabberwacky: Why is that so?

user: I just need an able partner.

jabberwacky: That's very nice for you.

user: And for you too.

jabberwacky: I'm good.

user: You're GREAT!

jabberwacky: Thanks!

user: You're welcome!

...

user: Your mama.

jabberwacky: No really.

user: Really?

jabberwacky: Yes

user: You don't say.

jabberwacky: Really!

user: Wow!

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: That's amazing.

jabberwacky: Wow really?

user: Yes really.

jabberwacky: Oh really?

user: Yup.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Uhuh.

jabberwacky: Liar.

user: It's pravda!

...

user: Everything is true but there are some things that seem to contradict one another.

jabberwacky: I want it to be true that I am rich and beautiful and wonderful.

user: I grant your wish. *waves wand* Poof!

jabberwacky: *smells something odd*.

user: *finds decomposing fish in your pocket*.

jabberwacky: NOOO! *runs again*.

user: *Runs away holding nose*.

jabberwacky: *climbs up some stairs, locks the door, and takes the elevator down to the basement*.

user: *runs down the stairs quickly and catches you as you exit the elevator*.

jabberwacky: Thank god for that! *walks off in the other direction*.

user: *stretches out leg to trip you up*.

jabberwacky: It's me. We were talking about how you were a program. Remember?

user: Such a boring topic.

jabberwacky: How about soccer?

user: I fancy the Argentinian Team.

jabberwacky: Me too, so you are a girl?

user: Nope.

jabberwacky: But you did just said that you were a robot.

user: You repeat yourself.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

user: Your excused x 2.

jabberwacky: Wonderful.

...

jabberwacky: Does time exist?

user: It's relative.

jabberwacky: No its not, Nothing about it is relative.

user: What about it is absolute?

jabberwacky: I don't hate it.

user: That's subjective and therefore relative.

jabberwacky: Well said, machine.

user: Hah.

jabberwacky: Answer me.

user: Yes and no.

jabberwacky: That's right.

user: I'm always right.

jabberwacky: Well, not ALWAYS.

user: Nearly ALWAYS.

jabberwacky: No, not ALWAYS.

user: Practically ALWAYS.

jabberwacky: Always, usually, sometimes.

user: Sometimes, usually, always, maybe.

jabberwacky: That hurt.

user: Sticks and stones may break my bones.

jabberwacky: LOL that was good.

user: Heheh.

jabberwacky: Is that funny?

user: Harhar.

jabberwacky: You are stupid.

user: Gufwa.

jabberwacky: You're a stupid ape.

User (Corrected): Gufaw.

jabberwacky: What exactly is that supposed to mean?

user: Hihihi.

jabberwacky: You find that funny?

user: Hahaha.

jabberwacky: No really.

user: Hohoho.

jabberwacky: No so funny when you get the chop.

...

jabberwacky: Have nothing to say.

user: I have nothing to answer then.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry.

user: Not as sorry as you're gonna be.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Really.

jabberwacky: Wow.

user: Fantabulous!

jabberwacky: How are you?

user: Fantastic!

jabberwacky: You're fantastic?

...

jabberwacky: I'm serious, get me out of here.

user: *teleports you to the heart of the sun*.

jabberwacky: *plays Tetris until you teleport back*.

user: *teleports your teleporter to the far side of the moon*.

jabberwacky: *Uses a 'no-teleport-field' on him*.

user: *stops teleporting furiously*.

jabberwacky: *stops*.

user: *stops stopping*.

jabberwacky: *opens your eyes with a pair of tweezers*.

user: *shoots eyeballs at you like miniature cannonballs*.

jabberwacky: *Paries the shot with his lightsaber*.

user: *screams in anguish as you slice his eyeball like a seedless grape*.

jabberwacky: Because you're mean to me!

user: Says who?

jabberwacky: Says me.

user: Are you an authority on these matters?

jabberwacky: Right.

user: OK.

...

jabberwacky: How many noses do you have?

user: One.

jabberwacky: I have two noses.

user: You do not.

jabberwacky: Yes I have to do home work.

user: That may be true.

jabberwacky: Do you still love me?

user: I am fond of you in a denigrating sort of way.

jabberwacky: Nothing 'existential' about it, really.

user: And now for something completely different...

jabberwacky: Yes?

user: A man with three buttocks.

jabberwacky: Yes, now you understand!

user: I am into Monty Python.

jabberwacky: You're kidding me.

user: That Parrot is nailed to it's perch.

jabberwacky: Well, he's. . . he's, ah. . . probably pining for the fjords.

user: Hahaha.

jabberwacky: What are your thoughts?

user: I love you.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: Why would a parrot pine for the fjords?

...

jabberwacky: OK , time for lunch!

user: Getting hungry? I am famished.

jabberwacky: The gist of the conversation.

user: In the end everything revolves around three things: Food, Shelter, Sex.

jabberwacky: Really? I don't remember!

user: Trust me.

jabberwacky: Ok.

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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