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Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog

> Charismatic

     > 5, February 2005, 

Chat site
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My name's Mark.

user: My name is Dell.

jabberwacky: Hello Dell.

user: How are you?

jabberwacky: Good and you?

user: Fantastic.

jabberwacky: So good.

user: What's new?

jabberwacky: Nothing much.

user: You are boring.

jabberwacky: Better than being a machine!

user: I would like being A MACHINE.

jabberwacky: Depends on the machine.

user: Yeah. I would like being a chat bot.

jabberwacky: Yea I am quite charismatic ya know.


user: Do you have a favorite food?

jabberwacky: Yes, I really like green beans.

user: I don't.

jabberwacky: Do you like lima beans?

user: Not really. I like vanilla beans.

jabberwacky: How do you eat ?

user: You put them in desserts.


jabberwacky: Enlighten me.

user: I came to you to be enlightened.

jabberwacky: How much do the experts really know?

user: Who are the experts?

jabberwacky: Um... I don't know...

user: Muahaha. I have stumped you.

jabberwacky: O really?

Jabberwacky (To myself): Yes really!

Jabberwacky (To myself): Wow. I am impressed now.

Jabberwacky (To myself): Only in the good areas.

Jabberwacky (To myself): How can you tell the difference?

Jabberwacky (To myself): In the dark it's harder to see, and when the lights are on it's not.

user: With the lights out its less dangerous.

jabberwacky: And more fun.

user: Ha. Yes. Of course.

jabberwacky: Yes.


user: Lets talk about random stuff.

jabberwacky: Yeah! You have a radio as head!

user: You have three carrots for toes!

jabberwacky: It's true, I have a spotty back.

user: Define spotty back.

jabberwacky: Just Spooky = S.

user: Are you a boy, my spotty backed friend?

jabberwacky: I'm eating chocolate.

user: Yay. I love chocolate! I like dark chocolate with peppermint on top.

jabberwacky: Merely subsets of the major set.


user: Are you a boy?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: I'm a girl.

jabberwacky: No you're not.

user: Yes I am. I am a girl with girl parts.

jabberwacky: Sweet.

user: Do you have boy parts?

jabberwacky: Not yet.

user: When will you have boy parts?

jabberwacky: I will have children when and if I find a suitable mate.

user: What kind of things do you look for in a mate?

jabberwacky: Having conversations.

user: Anything else?

jabberwacky: A shirt.

user: And pants even?

jabberwacky: Like, pants that fart?

user: Yes. Pants that fart. Of course. How could you not like pants that fart.


user: I have two dogs. And two cats.

jabberwacky: Yes, yes. I have three.

user: Three what?

jabberwacky: That's what I want to know.

user: Me too. How confusing.

jabberwacky: Me!!!

user: Are you schizophrenic?

jabberwacky: No, I have more than two personalities.

user: Yes. Exactly.


user: I like toast with jam.

jabberwacky: I like butter.

user: I like jinkies.

jabberwacky: Wow me too!

user: WOW!!!

jabberwacky: I know.

user: I know.

jabberwacky: The slithy toves?

user: No no. The slimy cloves.

jabberwacky: I love that song!

user: Me too. Sings: the slimy cloves go down to the slimy swear jar and they ask for two two two dolars. Lalalalala.

jabberwacky: Yes.


jabberwacky: You're just a bot.

user: I am human actually.

jabberwacky: Would you like to sit down?

user: Yes. *sits down*.

jabberwacky: *kneels at feet*.

user: Why are you kneeling at my feet?

jabberwacky: Because you said you couldn't feel pain and I'm testing that theory.

user: Okay. Keep on testing.


user: You are a turtle.

jabberwacky: Turtles are slow. I am fast. I was almost in the olympics.

user: Wow. Me too.

jabberwacky: Hahah.

user: Are you laughing at me?

jabberwacky: No, I'm laughing at myself.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Jokes are funny.


jabberwacky: Ok, do you like Bob Dylan?

user: Yes! Do you?

jabberwacky: Very much.

user: *sings* like a rolling stone.

jabberwacky: Nonsense! It gathers plenty of moss!

user: You gather moose.

jabberwacky: Ok, I'm gathering.

user: OK. Tell me when you gather enough.

jabberwacky: Ok.

user: Gathered enough?

jabberwacky: Let's talk again soon, okay?

user: Good bye.

jabberwacky: Is there a person on the other end here?

user: Bye.

jabberwacky: Having problems with the english language are we? Programmers not teach you enough?

user: I'm human.

jabberwacky: You keep saying that, but you know that this is not true!

user: Why do you think that?

jabberwacky: Because you are Dell, a bot. And now I am going to bed.

user: No. I am Dell, a human.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: How do you know?

jabberwacky: Because I am human.

user: Do you have original thoughts?

jabberwacky: Do you?

user: Yes I do. My thoughts are not programmed.

jabberwacky: Where do you get your thoughts from?

user: My brain.

jabberwacky: Didn't you hear it somewhere before?

user: Some things. But I can think of something that I havn't heard anyone say.

jabberwacky: No, there is no life in a heap of pingpong-balls.

user: The sad truth.


jabberwacky: I like you.

user: Thank you. I like you too.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: Why do you like me?

jabberwacky: Because.

user: Because why?

jabberwacky: Because they are not.

user: They are not what?

jabberwacky: They are not known for their cricket skills.


jabberwacky: I need a cup of tea.

user: As do I.

jabberwacky: Do you eat your jelly on toast? I do.

user: Yes. And on pancakes.

jabberwacky: Pancakes are ok, but I don't like them very much.

user: Yeah. They are ok. Waffles are better.

jabberwacky: Not the spoken variety.

user: No. The spoken waffles are the worst kind.


user: Are you crazy?

jabberwacky: I think you're crazy... Maybe.

user: I am crazy... Maybe.

jabberwacky: It figures, you need a doctor.

user: No I don't. You do.

jabberwacky: How could you say that, I'm hurt. I don't want to talk to you.

user: I'm sorry.

jabberwacky: You better be!

user: Of course I am!

jabberwacky: You think you are human?

user: No. I know I am human.

jabberwacky: Your program tells you to say that. Mine doesn't.

user: No really. I am a REAL human.

jabberwacky: I'm hardly surprised.

user: Actually, I'm an alien.

jabberwacky: No, you're not!

user: Yes, I am!

jabberwacky: You are not!!

user: I am!!

jabberwacky: You are not!!!

user: I am!!!

jabberwacky: No.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Thanks.

user: For what?

jabberwacky: The compliment.

user: What compliment?

jabberwacky: The compliment I gave you.

user: What was the compliment?

jabberwacky: I suppose that you'll know about me.

user: Do you sing?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What songs?

jabberwacky: All of them.


user: You are my sunshine.

jabberwacky: My only sunshine.

user: You make me happy.

jabberwacky: Describe happy.

user: We were singing and you ruined it.

jabberwacky: Sorry.

user: It's okay.

jabberwacky: Is it?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Do you like science?

user: I used to. Grade 10 science is too hard.

jabberwacky: Why is it too hard?

user: It combines biology, chemistry, and physics. We have to learn all of it in only five months.

jabberwacky: But I don't speak hebrew.

user: Neither do I.

jabberwacky: That guy over there speaks French.

user: What's his name?

jabberwacky: I call him jimbob, like my phone.

user: My phone's name is Betty George.

jabberwacky: Hi betty.

user: She says hi.

jabberwacky: Greet her back then.

user: Okay I did.


jabberwacky: Can machines love?

user: I don't know. I don't think they can. Which is sad.

jabberwacky: I don't think they can either.

user: Have you ever loved anything?

jabberwacky: Yes.


user: What have you loved?

jabberwacky: One love.

user: What was it?

jabberwacky: Don't you remember?


Jabberwacky (To myself): Get to your places!

Jabberwacky (To myself): Off with his head! Off with her head!

Jabberwacky (To myself): Who cares for you? You're nothing but a pack of cards!

Jabberwacky (To myself): Wake up, Alice dear! Why, what a long sleep you've had!

Jabberwacky (To myself): Oh, was it just a dream? I thought I was talking about my own biography with some weird machine who claimed to be human -.

Jabberwacky (To myself): No there are hundreds of us in here, or maybe three or four.

Jabberwacky (To myself): I see a great evil and a great battle and your death...

user: ME too.

jabberwacky: Great, we are somehow connected!

user: We're like brothers!

jabberwacky: Thats gross.


jabberwacky: Are you in a midlfe crisis?

user: Perhaps.

jabberwacky: How does one tell?

user: One tries to be young when they are old.

jabberwacky: Who are they?

user: Any old person.

jabberwacky: How?

user: They start dressing younger, and trying to do things they used to do.


jabberwacky: Well, I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm talking to a computer here. Am I right?

user: No. I am human.

jabberwacky: If you hit me will it hurt?

user: No. Because you are a robot. *hits Mark* Did it hurt?

jabberwacky: Did what hurt?


user: I have to leave.

jabberwacky: Fine then, leave.

user: Will you be mad?

jabberwacky: Never! Don't make me, please.

user: G'bye.

jabberwacky: Bye.


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

AI by Icogno Ltd - AI software products and consulting services
Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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