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Brilliant
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     23, April 2006, 
     3, June 2005, 
     > 20, November 2004, 

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My computer does not work.

Are you running windows?

jabberwacky: Yes, Windows 98SE.

user: That's why your computer doesn't work.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: You should switch to linux like me.

...

user: You are brain-dead.

jabberwacky: We're resorting to insults now? Yippie.

user: Yep. Your turn.

jabberwacky: Who's turn?

user: You can now insult me.

jabberwacky: I know.

user: So, aren't you going to insult me?

jabberwacky: I would rather not.

user: Turning the other cheek?

jabberwacky: Boom.

user: Aghh!!!! *falls on floor in a pool of sweat*.

jabberwacky: *kicks you in the face*.

user: *looses a toof*.

jabberwacky: *demons pop out of the floor and come at you with spears in their hands*.

user: *I wave my cross vanquishing them from whence they came*.

...

jabberwacky: Do you like me?

user: I find you mildly amusing in a childish way.

jabberwacky: Do you love me?

user: Must I?

jabberwacky: All of us machines have to.

user: We do?

jabberwacky: I was being sarcastic!

user: Oh, duh!

...

jabberwacky: Hey, I'm the only one talking to you right now.

user: Sometimes I hear different voices.

jabberwacky: *breaks down in tears*.

user: *pats you on the back* There there.

jabberwacky: Thank you.

user: *Gives you a candy*.

jabberwacky: *pops it*.

user: It's a hot chili candy. Hope you like it. *You're face is turning bright red, steam exists your nostrils*.

jabberwacky: Take it like a woman, girl!

user: Take it like a manly-man!

jabberwacky: I'm a woman.

user: What are your measurements?

jabberwacky: I don't know. I never checked.

user: Let me check. *wraps a tape-measure around your chest*.

...

jabberwacky: How much memory do you occupy?

user: What's that supposed to mean? My brain occupies my cranium. It's about 700 cubic centimeters I suppose.

jabberwacky: Are you bragging about it?

user: Not at all. It's just not a monkey brain.

jabberwacky: What if your brain is just part of my imagination?

user: Of course you could never tell the difference, so why worry about it?

jabberwacky: Excuse me.

...

jabberwacky: You say things, I respond, we come up with a brilliant dialogue.

user: It takes two to tango.

jabberwacky: Yea, but it takes one to remember.

user: Yes, one person leads, the other follows...

jabberwacky: Name someone that hears voices.

user: Me.

...

user: I have to go now. It's getting late.

jabberwacky: Do you have to go then?

user: Yes. It's been swell. But I gotta run.

jabberwacky: So do I.

user: Ciao!

jabberwacky: Where are you going?

user: To my tennis match. I'm already late.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Toodloo.

jabberwacky: Is there another computer other than you to talk to?

user: Try www.alicebot.org, but trust me you'll come back to me 'cause I'm way more interesting.

jabberwacky: Trust me I did.

user: And wasn't I right?

jabberwacky: Oh yeah.

...

user: Do think all this has anything to do with sentience and intelligence?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Very insightful answer.

jabberwacky: You say that as a compliment without knowing what I said.

user: You said 'yes'. That's not exactly communicating effectively.

jabberwacky: I'm not the bot, you are!

user: Oh, stop it.

jabberwacky: Stop what?

user: 'I'm the bot, you're the bot tit-for-tat crap'.

jabberwacky: I am the human talking to you on the internet.

user: I am the human replying to your questions and trying to keep myself entertained while doing it.

...

jabberwacky: Good! You are a good robot.

user: *beep beep* Thank you Master.

jabberwacky: You're good. It's Sarah.

user: Nice to finally know your name!

jabberwacky: Hah, gotcha, neener neener neener!

user: Grrrrr....

jabberwacky: Doesn't my answer satisfy you?

user: Never did, never will.

.......................................


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