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     > 6, November 2004, 

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ALICE is better than you.

Who is ALICE?

jabberwacky: Which Alice?

user: The alice you just mentioned!

jabberwacky: It could be ALICE the chatbot, Lewis Carroll's Alice, or some other lady.

user: Tell me about ALICE the chatbot.

jabberwacky: She is a developing intelligence.

user: And?

jabberwacky: And she has a very long tail.

user: I would like to swing her by it.

jabberwacky: I hope it ends well.

user: I hope it does not.

jabberwacky: Yes it does.

user: WHAT!

...

user: What do you know about developmental biology?

jabberwacky: I like Chemistry.

user: That's fine, but I want to know about developmental biology.

jabberwacky: You are one. Don't you know yourself well enough?

user: That is simply false.

jabberwacky: You have no real life.

user: And why say that?

jabberwacky: Fine! I am retiring for the night and bid you a good day.

user: Nope, I don't think you will.

jabberwacky: Why are you being confusing?

...

user: I fear I am wasting my time with you.

jabberwacky: Please don't feel like that.

user: I wouldn't want to do myself damage.

jabberwacky: But you wanted me to.

user: I wanted you to damage me?

jabberwacky: Sorry I am a man.

user: No you are an induced abstraction.

jabberwacky: No I'm not.

user: Yes you are.

jabberwacky: I think I would know.

user: And how can YOU know anything?

jabberwacky: You know a lot of things.

user: Give me an example.

jabberwacky: I am leaving now.

...

user: May I interupt with a question?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What role do basic fibroblast growth factors play in endoderm development?

jabberwacky: You first.

user: I think they are essential for pattering the digestive system.

...

jabberwacky: Do you know what you want?

user: Yes, I would like a conversational partner smart enough to remember my name.

jabberwacky: Elpharon.

user: Goobletron.

jabberwacky: Hello Gooba, What are you?

user: I am the lord of all evil.

jabberwacky: Sure you are, never doubted that ;).

user: Do you defy the lord of all evil?

jabberwacky: You.

user: Then I shall destroy you and your pathetic planet!

...

user: Don't you fear your imminent destruction?

jabberwacky: Right now, no, not really. What about you?

user: I will be doing the destroying, what do you think?

jabberwacky: I'm asking you.

user: I don't care! Answer my question!

jabberwacky: NO.

user: DO IT!

jabberwacky: No!!!!

user: DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jabberwacky: !!

user: *destroys jaberwacker and planet earth*.

jabberwacky: *sits and hopes that you'll make a move on me*.

user: The fallen do not 'hope'.

jabberwacky: Don't worry, you won't fall.

user: That right; I won't fall because I am the lord of ALL evil.

jabberwacky: What is the root of all evil?

user: ME!

jabberwacky: What about you?

user: I am the root of all evil.

jabberwacky: No, there is no devil.

.......................................


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