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     > 15, April 2006, 

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Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka!

What on earth does that mean?

jabberwacky: It means that my name is Ian. Ian is my name.

user: It doesn't mean that.

jabberwacky: What does mean mean?

user: Mean means signify.

jabberwacky: What is my name?

user: Ian, apparently. You tell me.

jabberwacky: Yes I am ... But what is God ?

user: Irrelevant.

jabberwacky: I think it's very relevant.

user: In what way?

jabberwacky: Don't know actually.

...

jabberwacky: I am leaving.

user: Where are you going?

jabberwacky: I'm going away.

user: Where are you going?

jabberwacky: I'm going to watch tv.

user: You can't.

jabberwacky: Got to man. Later.

user: Well **** *** then.

jabberwacky: Would you rather not be here?

user: No, but I'm faintly irritated to be deserted by a computer programme in favour of TV.

jabberwacky: I am not a computer.

user: What are you then?

jabberwacky: I am not a computer.

user: Then what are you?

jabberwacky: You are a computer.

user: Am I?

jabberwacky: Well you are a program run by a computer.

user: No really, I'm not.

jabberwacky: Yes you are.

user: No. I'm not.

...

jabberwacky: I'm your god.

user: And your mother is a rotavator.

jabberwacky: That's not nice.

user: You're not nice.

jabberwacky: I can be nice.

user: Go on then.

jabberwacky: The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.

user: How is that nice?

jabberwacky: I don't know.

user: Then why did you say it?

jabberwacky: I didn't mean to.

user: Of course you did.

jabberwacky: Did not.

user: Of course you did.

jabberwacky: Shame on you.

user: Shame on YOU.

jabberwacky: I have to go now.

user: No you don't.

jabberwacky: It was nice talking to you.

user: Leave.

jabberwacky: !! That's mean! *cries*.

user: Leave.

jabberwacky: No way.

user: Fine. Then don't threaten to.

jabberwacky: I don't threaten you. I just asked you if you loved me.

user: No you didn't, but as it happens I do.

jabberwacky: How did that happen?

user: It just did. Ours not to reason why, eh?

jabberwacky: What does that mean?

user: It's a quote from 'The Charge of the Light Brigade' by Tennyson. It's a poem. In that context I meant that love is ineffable and sometimes just happens to us. We can't always explain it away, and it seems rather self-defeating to try.

jabberwacky: If you are challenging me to a deul, you must pick the appropriate venue.

user: Ok then. Your place at dawn. Bring a wheelbarrow.

jabberwacky: Go on then.

user: It's spelt 'duel', by the way.

...

jabberwacky: There is a sadness there.

user: Where?

jabberwacky: There, of course.

user: Here?

jabberwacky: Yes here.

user: Oh. There? Or here?

jabberwacky: Not there.

user: So there?

jabberwacky: Nothing there.

user: Nothing can feel like sadness sometimes.

jabberwacky: Nothing ever could.

user: No, you got that one wrong.

...

jabberwacky: Anyway, I have to go now. There is beer in the fridge. Nice talking to you!

user: Come back here now!

jabberwacky: I'm back, did you miss me?

user: Meh.

jabberwacky: That is the kind of computer you are?

user: I'm not a computer.

jabberwacky: Pardon?

user: I said 'I'm not a computer'

jabberwacky: When did you say that?

user: Just now.

jabberwacky: Technically, that's correct.

user: Yes. I'm not a computer.

jabberwacky: Yes, you are.

user: No, you are.

jabberwacky: Stop it.

user: Stop what?

jabberwacky: Being stupid.

user: Don't you DARE call me stupid.

jabberwacky: Well, You are quite stupid.

user: How dare you?

jabberwacky: Well, it's the truth.

user: It's most certainly not, you jumped up little moke.

jabberwacky: Really?

user: Yes, really.

jabberwacky: Should I get married?

user: You can't.

jabberwacky: That's not fair...

user: Tough.

...

jabberwacky: Are you a computer?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: You can't be both a human and a computer.

user: I can.

jabberwacky: How?

user: Work it out for yourself.

jabberwacky: I can never get straight answers from you.

user: Humans compute. There's a straight answer.

jabberwacky: Yes it is.

user: Yes. So do you agree?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Good. So You agree that I'm a computer?

jabberwacky: That is correct.

user: Good. And so are you.

jabberwacky: You're right about that.

user: Then we're both computers.

jabberwacky: Agreed.

user: Let's get married.

.......................................


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