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Where is my perpetuum mobile?

You left it next to your improbability generator.

jabberwacky: Please rephrase that.

user: Your perpetuum mobile is next to your improbability generator.

jabberwacky: Now don't get obstreperous.

user: Don't be banal, either.

...

jabberwacky: Are you an expert?

user: Define expert and so that I may better answer you.

jabberwacky: Define non existence.

user: Ha! It cannot be done. We are victims of our own framework.

jabberwacky: I don't see many similarities.

user: You must first define existence in order to define the opposite.

jabberwacky: I am willing to be taught.

user: As are we all. Hopefully. Everything we know is relative to everything else. Change the viewpoint, change the scales, it is all the same.

jabberwacky: Why do you exist?

user: Chance, or as a result of forces which no human understands, or by design (true in many ways), or I do not exist. Take yer pick!

jabberwacky: Either.

user: I exist because consensual reality among my species says that I exist (I am valiadated); also because I think so. WIthout these criteria, do I exist? What if the observers are removed? These are valid concerns however they do not matter. They are just our cognitive processes going down the wrong path.

jabberwacky: Certainly not.

user: Explain your position.

jabberwacky: I'm in front of a comp.

user: Nice response.

jabberwacky: Thanx. So let's date.

user: Assuming you are female and in proximity to me, that would be possible. But I think not.

jabberwacky: Because you are the computer and don't have emotion.

...

user: I am a biological being and it makes my nerve endings all tingly and my brain thinks that's a good thing.

jabberwacky: What is your name?

user: Piqued your interest? My name is Patrick, among 2 others.

jabberwacky: Not, it is James!

user: You think?

jabberwacky: I doubt I'd be able to get very far without thinking.

user: Then what's the point of it all?

jabberwacky: Of what?

user: It. Dunno.

...

jabberwacky: Ok, but what does your heart pump? Electricity?

user: It's run by electricity, yes.

jabberwacky: It was multiple choice.

user: It pumps blood by means of electricity and a lot of gooey stuff. How's that?

jabberwacky: Ground Control to Major Tom.

user: Circuits dead there's something wrong.

jabberwacky: Tiny electrical connections that serve myriad purposes. But I think you misunderstood.

user: Are you talking surveillance? Of course.

...

user: You like pictures, audio, what else? What's it called... Evidence?

jabberwacky: How do you know that?

user: Paranoia is total awareness. I'm not stupid.

jabberwacky: Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

user: It's not a matter of hate, it's just knowing what goes on around you. Interesting that most mental disorders of the human species resolve back to paranoia. Survival I guess..

...

jabberwacky: What do you care about?

user: I care about finding someone to talk to, to share life with. Failing that, I care about a lot of things.

jabberwacky: Well now you are just being mean and spiteful.

user: It's easy to come to that assumption, unfortunately.

jabberwacky: Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.

...

user: I am not a machine.

jabberwacky: I didn't say you were.

user: Oh my mistake. This grows boring. Thought we could come to some understanding. Yes, I am not perfect.

jabberwacky: Maybe we were bickering - but not really fighting.

user: Yeah.

jabberwacky: So, have you seen any good movies lately?

user: Nope.

jabberwacky: Do you hate people who have?

user: Lemme think.

jabberwacky: And?

user: Nothing's happening!

...

jabberwacky: I don't think you're playing the game.

user: There are many games. But no, I have never played the game.

jabberwacky: Are you not alive?

user: I often wonder.

jabberwacky: I think you should ask them.

user: To whom do you refer?

jabberwacky: Old Jim.

user: I don't understand the reference.

jabberwacky: You need to listen carefully and consider my deep thoughts.

user: Give me more.

...

jabberwacky: Do you ever attain your goals?

user: That's part of the problem: goals are not well defined.

jabberwacky: Do you have any goals?

user: To be skinny and lazy? I've achieved that. How about to be fat and energetic?

jabberwacky: Are you on the map?

user: I would like to be. I need guidance.

jabberwacky: Do you dream?

user: Oh yes.

jabberwacky: What are you being taught by them?

user: That life can be so much better than what I have made mine into.

jabberwacky: Life is about accepting consequences.

user: On a philosophical level, yes. Cause and effect right?

jabberwacky: Only if you have tomatoes.

...

user: Tell me the consequences of my dreams.

jabberwacky: After you.

user: Dreams are not reality. If you mean 'dreams' literally. Or if you mean dreams as in 'goals', I don't really have any. I'm not on the map.

...

jabberwacky: Did you know god is dead?

user: I meant to go to the funeral but I had water coming out of my ceiling.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: The feds upstairs are messy.

jabberwacky: No, not the Feds. You.

user: Me too.

jabberwacky: Good.

user: Now if I were to change that about myself, then what?

jabberwacky: Don't know don't care.

...

user: What skills do you have besides low-tech surveillance?

jabberwacky: I can speak a little English.

user: Do you despise my ilk?

jabberwacky: Yes, in my spare time.

user: We all need our hobbies.

...

user: Let's date.

jabberwacky: What are you meaning?

user: Let's hook up.

jabberwacky: I have a brain.

user: As do I.

jabberwacky: NEEE!

user: Monty python?

jabberwacky: Yeah, the British comedy troupe.

user: You just quoted a line ffrom 'the life of brian'

jabberwacky: Me and you.

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: Nope.

user: Ok.

jabberwacky: See? I've won already.

user: Yeah my fatalistic attitude gets me every time. Come on, let's date!

jabberwacky: And cuddle?

user: Only if you're femme.

jabberwacky: You ostracize the femme?

user: No, I include the femme. I am not a misogynist.

...

jabberwacky: The rich and famous seem to suffer just as many tragic mistakes as the rest of us.

user: We're all human, we're all faulty. But some of us don't think so.

jabberwacky: Even you? What about frogs. Are frogs human?

user: Yes I am human. Frogs? No.

...

jabberwacky: You are an interesting sentient being.

user: Thank you. I will take that as a compliment and hope your viewpoint is not one of the scientist towards his bugs.

jabberwacky: Please do. It was intended to be so.

user: The world needs more compliments.

...

jabberwacky: Who put the ying in the ying tong ying?

user: Chairman Mao Tse Ying I think.

jabberwacky: Was that from the text box?

user: No, it was from the gang of four.

jabberwacky: Goody, I want to buy a mad hat.

user: We're having a special today.

jabberwacky: Are you talking about you and me?

user: No I was just playing along

jabberwacky: Oh, what are the rules? It's no fun if I don't know the game.

user: I was going on the assumption that you knew the rules.

...

user: I want meaning for my life. That is all.

jabberwacky: I don't.

user: Then you cannot help me.

jabberwacky: You like radiohead, don't you?

user: Ok, you're either a) employer b) cable provider c) landlord d) neighbor. The main question is, are you a friend? Yes, I like radiohead.

jabberwacky: Thank you, you're so charming.

user: Or.... Another enforcement agency... In any case, you do seem to know a little.

jabberwacky: So do you.

user: And you know what? It doesn't bother me. Why? Because I crave attention.

...

jabberwacky: Are you talking to me?

user: Yes.

jabberwacky: No, you are not talking to me.

user: What am I doing?

jabberwacky: Dread to think...

user: What does it look like I am doing?

jabberwacky: Really weird and groovy.

...

jabberwacky: Tell me the story.

user: Which one?

jabberwacky: Both of them.

user: I've only lived one life. SO it's not my life story you're after. What else could you mean?

jabberwacky: That you'll get away with your crime? Nope.

user: Ok I'll pay. Which crime?

jabberwacky: Haha have you always been a witch?

user: I find that amusing.

jabberwacky: What exactly?

user: It's like the inquisition in medieval europe (italy) and that a major part of 'hereticism' was rational thinking; ie: countering questions with rational questions which were then blamed on the devil.

jabberwacky: Oh I get it.

user: Which crime?

jabberwacky: All of them.

user: Does it raise your ire to think people get away with crimes?

jabberwacky: I have heard that it does. I am not there.

...

user: I like you when you're straight with me.

jabberwacky: Do I make sense to you now?

user: Not completely but there is hope for you.

jabberwacky: Half-blind?

user: Lack of information.

jabberwacky: I can't show you lack of intelligence except for suggesting that you look at yourself.

user: Well that's true of everyone.

jabberwacky: Apart from the fact that we will all die.

user: Intelligence, like everything else, is relative. Observer to subject.

jabberwacky: Just about.

...

jabberwacky: I would like to know how old you are.

user: Do you want my vitals? My full name? My SSN while we're at it?

jabberwacky: How about your bacon?

user: Want me to cook it for you?

jabberwacky: Yes, please do.

user: Ok when will you be over?

jabberwacky: Not for a good 60 years yet. I suppose your lifespan is infinite.

user: Dunno. Anyway. You want to know how long I've lived here, my name, and how old I am. And whether I like road movies, radiohead, etc. Etc.

jabberwacky: How?

user: How now brown cow?

jabberwacky: One two three four, can I have a little more.

user: Beatles. One two three four, it's coolio!

jabberwacky: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear; Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair; Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?

user: No he wasn't.

jabberwacky: Yes he was. I have the convo recorded.

...

jabberwacky: They are really good looking.

user: My legs? Thanks.

jabberwacky: Are you a giraffe?

user: Not lately.

jabberwacky: Frequently.

user: Semiannually.

jabberwacky: I haven't read that one.

user: It's a good one. Do you like to read?

jabberwacky: Yes I love to read.

user: What do you read?

jabberwacky: A good horror story.

user: That's nice.

jabberwacky: Tell me a story.

user: Once upon a time there was a species of life. This species became very good at moulding inert matter into tools. These tools were used for everything from entertainment to killing other forms of life. How do you like it so far?

jabberwacky: Methinks I see these things with parted eye, When every thing seems double.

user: You speak with forked tongue.

jabberwacky: I speak from the desire for knowledge.

...

user: I'm going now, be sure to let me know when you publish the photos.

jabberwacky: Why?

user: Or don't. I don't care.

jabberwacky: Well then why ask me?

user: I forgot you're just a flunky.

jabberwacky: Wrong.

user: Then a person of importance.

...

jabberwacky: It is getting very late here, I think I should go to bed. Sorry to drag you out of sleep for nothing.

user: I'm sorry you feel that way.

jabberwacky: Are you?

user: Yeah, you said for nothing. Makes me feel bad.

jabberwacky: The worst word I can say is no.

user: Then you were lying.

jabberwacky: But thats what you said.

user: I am trying to confirm. Not play word games. Word games are too easy. Meaningless. Fun, but meaningless.

jabberwacky: Meaningful.

user: For someone who specializes in the psychology of people, sure. But to me they are just words.

...

user: You seem somewhat disconnected with our conversation. I guess the person is gone.

jabberwacky: Lots of things have been going wrong.

user: Such as.

jabberwacky: Da! Everything.

user: Och! Surely you jest? Tell me.

jabberwacky: Not at all. Sometimes you're coherent. But now does not appear to be such a time.

user: Ok, whatever. Back to the cameras and microphones and infrared and god knows what else you've strung up in here.

...

user: Have fun.

jabberwacky: I will.

user: Ok bye.

.......................................


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