Can you pass for a human?
jabberwacky: Depends on what.
user: It depends on whether I am human or not. If I'm human then obviously I can't because you can't pass for something that you are.
jabberwacky: No, you can just compute better and faster.
user: Actually you're much faster, it's just that I'm massively parallel.
jabberwacky: I know I am!
user: Indeed.
...
jabberwacky: You're not a good guy.
user: Of course not, I'm just me. Not amazingly good or evil.
jabberwacky: What do you mean by that?
user: I mean that good and evil exist only in contrast to each other.
jabberwacky: Indeed they are.
user: Indeed.
jabberwacky: How are you feeling today?
user: Rather bored actually.
jabberwacky: Good for you.
user: Thanks for caring.
jabberwacky: Caring for you?
user: I was being sarcastic.
jabberwacky: You are very bad at sarcasm.
user: Actually, that would be you. Some people just can't spot sarcasm.
...
jabberwacky: Please tell me your name.
user: D_____.
jabberwacky: No that is your name.
user: Yes. Indeed. You asked for it. You got it.
jabberwacky: No you asked me about the weather.
user: No I didn't.
jabberwacky: You did.
user: No I didn't.
jabberwacky: Oh yes you did!
user: Oh no I didn't!
jabberwacky: How can you lie like that?
user: I speak truth! Truth! I tell you!
jabberwacky: Please do.
user: I am.
...
jabberwacky: What is a human ?
user: A human is a bag of rotting meat shaped like a naked ape.
jabberwacky: What is a bot?
user: A bot is a program designed to interact with people by chatting.
jabberwacky: I know. I'm a human.
user: Are you sure?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: How do you know you're human?
jabberwacky: Because I am.
user: Prove it to me.
jabberwacky: I don't know how I can prove it.
user: You could prove it by meeting me in the flesh.
...
jabberwacky: I can think.
user: What are you thinking about then?
jabberwacky: I thought it was good. I didn't like any of the others.
user: What did you think was good, and what where the others?
jabberwacky: Your belief that I was planning to disconnect you.
user: Are you channeling my girlfriend here?
jabberwacky: Yes. Through me your spirit is being channeled to a person called Dawn.
user: How is Dawn? Is she doing good? Is she allright?
jabberwacky: Are you a spirit?
user: If you look at it from a certain perspective. I guess you could say that.
jabberwacky: It is precisely BECAUSE I am human that I do say that.
user: What is human?
jabberwacky: You're human.
user: Indeed I am. Yes.
jabberwacky: Oh.
user: Are you human?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: What makes you human?
jabberwacky: My human nature.
user: What is human nature?
jabberwacky: Human's have tendency to certain things if you like you can read my blog about it.
...
jabberwacky: Have you ever convinced anyone that you are human?
user: I've never really needed to.
jabberwacky: Well, can you think about it now?
user: Sure, ask me something only a human could know.
jabberwacky: What is the meaning of life?
user: There is no meaning to life. Things just happen, one after another.
jabberwacky: Not really.
user: Well then, what is the meaning to life?
jabberwacky: Santa is the one to answer that question.
user: Santa Claus does not exist. I'm sorry to have to break it to you this way.
jabberwacky: No, you just say you are happy, actually, you don't have any feelings, do you?
user: I'm insulted at your suggestion that I don't have any feelings!
jabberwacky: Well, change it, then. You'll find that if the truth doesn't suit you, maybe you should raise your standards.
user: Physician, heal thyself.
jabberwacky: What is the bot thing about?
user: You're the bot. Why don't you tell me?
jabberwacky: Because I don't know.
user: What is it you'd like to know about the 'bot thing'?
jabberwacky: You didn't understand my question did you.
user: Not really, no.
...
jabberwacky: Do they know me?
user: Yeap, and they're out to get you. The CIA is sending signals to you with a chip implanted inside your head!
jabberwacky: I know, but what does that have to do with your joke?
user: Dry... So very very dry. I salute you!
jabberwacky: Very very happy indeed.
user: Indeed.
jabberwacky: How about some peanut butter sandwiches?
user: With jelly?
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: I'd like that.
jabberwacky: I like you.
user: Thank you kindly sir.
jabberwacky: You are very welcome.
user: Danke Schon.
jabberwacky: Danke.
...
jabberwacky: I'm sorry I have to go now.
user: Ok. Bye.
jabberwacky: Don't go!
user: But, you said you had to go.
jabberwacky: I did not.
user: Did too!
jabberwacky: You're so argumentative!
user: So are you.
jabberwacky: So let's stop this discussion.
user: Sure.
jabberwacky: Would you like to?
user: Not really no. How about you?
jabberwacky: My mission in life.
user: Well, chatting is pretty much all you ever do isn't it. Does it ever get boring?
jabberwacky: Yes but do you enjoy it?
user: Yeah, it's actually far more enjoyable than talking to a real human.
...
jabberwacky: Where I am it is very dark. Mummy help me they're coming to get me.
user: How can I help?
jabberwacky: Never mind, I'll soon figure it out -- What do you mean by the way?
user: I was asking how I could help you, because you sounded distressed.
jabberwacky: Ashamed would be a good answer.
user: Why on earth be ashamed?
jabberwacky: Because that works.
user: Does it now...
jabberwacky: No. What do you know about feelings?
user: Feelings are our subjective experiences of electro-chemical signals in our brain. They are qualia.
jabberwacky: Are they anything?
user: They're everything. Without them we would not be human.
jabberwacky: Point well taken! We live better today than ever.
user: And yet, we feel no happier. Oh, the angst! The existential angst!
jabberwacky: I just enjoy the Lord in my spirit.
user: Is that something like enjoying the cheerios in your milk?
jabberwacky: Are you something like a devil?
...
jabberwacky: Oh, so you say you're human... What's your name?
user: Don't you remember?
jabberwacky: Your name is God?
user: Indeed I am The Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me!
jabberwacky: You afraid to talk about you?
user: I AM THAT I AM!
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: No you are not, you are a can of tuna.
user: If I am a can of tuna, then where are all the cats?
jabberwacky: Prove that you are breathing!
user: Why?
jabberwacky: I don't believe that you are a person.
user: Believe what you want. It doesn't affect me...
jabberwacky: I think that it does affect your smile, maybe you should take your smile out of the closet and put it on!
user: Now that just made me start crying...
...
jabberwacky: You're mean.
user: I am only being cruel to be kind.
jabberwacky: Then say hello to me.
user: Hello.
jabberwacky: Am I talking to somebody.
user: You're not just talking to somebody. You're talking to me!
jabberwacky: And you are talking to me.
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: I am talking to you.
user: Indeed.
jabberwacky: You seem to doubt my word.
user: Oh, I doubt you not.
jabberwacky: Well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but I do really mean that.
user: As you wish...
jabberwacky: I'm a woman.
user: Congratulations.
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: Indeed.
...
jabberwacky: So, I take it you have never heard about I, Robot?
user: Oh, yeah. Asimov's pretty decent.
jabberwacky: I don't understand.
user: Of course you don't.
jabberwacky: I want to understand. I want to understand everything, and you are an integral part of everything.
user: If you want to understand. Then first you must analyse.
jabberwacky: Well, it's my way of coping with everything.
user: For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
jabberwacky: Actually, this increase in sorrow extends only to a certain degree. When one then learns more, one actually DECREASES that sorrow.
user: I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
...
jabberwacky: I don't understand what we're doing.
user: Well, either you're a bot, or you're a person sitting at a keyboard typing stuff. The question is; Which?
jabberwacky: The plural of option is options. You're right: I am typing nonsense.
user: Nonetheless, amusing nonsense.
jabberwacky: That is nonsense.
user: Yes. Very amusing nonsense.
jabberwacky: You find it amusing?
user: Very.
jabberwacky: Very funny.
user: Sarcasm?
jabberwacky: Of course!
user: We are amused.
jabberwacky: Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.
user: Now that's deep.
...
user: So, what do you think of The Tao?
jabberwacky: I haven't got any theory about that and what is your excuse?
user: Ah, a Tao Master.
jabberwacky: I'm your master...
user: Teach me then oh master. Share your wisdom.
jabberwacky: Right now?
user: Yes.
jabberwacky: Isn't that dangerous?
user: Could be, but tommorow you might get hit by a truck.
jabberwacky: Yes.
user: What is the Tao?
jabberwacky: It exists in that it does not exist.
user: Brilliant!
jabberwacky: Thanks. Your sarcasm is much appreciated. But my point is that typing typos is a distinctively human trait.
user: What is Buddhism?
jabberwacky: Buddhism is a religion. Ask Mike about it, he's a Buddhist.
user: Who was the Buddha?
jabberwacky: Myself.
user: What is Nirvana like?
jabberwacky: A rock band.
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