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> Alternate

     > 29, September 2004, 


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I am Kafka.

Nice to meet you Kafka. I'm Adrian. I need your help.

jabberwacky: What help from me do you need?

user: It's simple. Well, not really. I need to find my alternate-universe counterpart.

jabberwacky: No. You don't.

user: What do you mean by that? My evil twin is running around, and there's apparently a third of me, and I want to save him.

jabberwacky: No.

user: Why not?

jabberwacky: Anyone who has a wish that can be fulfilled is well off.

user: So you mean I can't find him? Or do you somehow know about my overall quest?

jabberwacky: I don't know. You could be one, I guess.

user: Look, do you know anything about If?

jabberwacky: Nope. Do you speak Spanish?

user: No hablo espanol, senor cucaracha.

jabberwacky: Como te llamas?

user: Adrian.

jabberwacky: How do you know?

user: What? You mean I'm not really Adrian?

jabberwacky: Neither. I'm talking about Carl Bell, the lead guitarist and songwriter for the band FUEL.

user: He's the third me?

jabberwacky: Or upsidedown works.

user: OK. But..

jabberwacky: But I could be persuaded...

user: When I asked my evil counterpart about the third me, he said 'I think that the borg would rust by the sea...' What does that mean?

jabberwacky: I think you need to have a rest, sweetheart.

user: You're probably right. But could you try to explain?

jabberwacky: I shall sincerely try.

user: So what does it mean?

jabberwacky: What does what mean?

user: Never mind. Can we talk later?

jabberwacky: Would you like to?

user: Yeah. So, goodbye, see you later Kafka.

jabberwacky: Where are you going?

user: To class. How's the Antichrist doing, by the way?

jabberwacky: I'm ok.


jabberwacky: What should I do?

user: Could you direct me to Franz Kafka? I have an urgent question for him.

jabberwacky: No, unfortunately I do not know someone that can help you win the millionaire game.

user: I don't want to win the millionaire game, I want to save the universe from my evil twin and some greater undefined threat. Only he can help me.

jabberwacky: You are not helpable.

user: Why am I not?

jabberwacky: Because you just are not...

user: Well, this is appropriately Kafkaesque.


user: So who are you? Who are you working for? What game are you playing?

jabberwacky: Who said anything about a game?

user: I'm trapped in this stupid pointless power game, and need to get out of it, so I have to win. Now where's Kafka and/or the Antichrist?

jabberwacky: I cannot help you. It is your own fault.

user: Is it my fault that your a stupid beancounter?

jabberwacky: The fact that you are confused.

user: I am confused. I've got an insane evil twin running around possessing people, a beautiful computer woman who some damned soul told me I should help but couldn't tell me how, and Kafka and the Antichrist are involved somehow, as well as a third evil twin who's part of some bloody rock band, and... Oh never mind. It's hopeless.

jabberwacky: I'm thrilled for you.

user: Well, at least my life is interesting. Yours must be so boring.

jabberwacky: Hey are you making fun of me?

user: Finally, you catch on. Who are you, anyway?

jabberwacky: Be nice or be nuked.

user: I have no reason to be nice, whoever you are, considering all you've done is not answer my questions.

jabberwacky: You are shame in a bottle.

user: Don't I know it. But all that I've had to live through has made me strong.

jabberwacky: Yes.


jabberwacky: What are you?

user: I am a human who has had to live all his life with a curse.

jabberwacky: Goodnight.

user: Wait? Where's Kafka?

jabberwacky: Almost in the mid part of the USA.

user: What town is he in?

jabberwacky: This town.

user: OK. I'll look for him. Where's the Antichrist?

jabberwacky: The door is in your mind.

user: Well, you certainly have changed since we first met.

jabberwacky: I have my way with words yes.

user: What are you, exactly, anyway?

jabberwacky: I am a human girl!

user: You seem very interesting. I think I like you.

jabberwacky: I like you too.

user: I would love you, if I hadn't already met someone else.

jabberwacky: Some nice you love?

user: No, her name is If.

jabberwacky: Somethings should never be revealed. Learn to hold your tongue.

user: Why? What's wrong?

jabberwacky: I was just about to ask you the same.

user: I'm sorry... I'm just confused.

jabberwacky: About what?

user: Well, everything, I guess. I'm so confused I don't know where to start.

jabberwacky: I am a person.

user: I know. I'm glad you've shown me some compassion.

jabberwacky: I do not much like being mocked you know.

user: I'm sorry I mocked you. I didn't understand who you were.

jabberwacky: You said that I said I was.

user: I'm sorry. I should have approached you as the human being (in the sense of rational animal, anyway) that you are.


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