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> Alan Turing


     > 23, September 2004, 

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You love me?

Yes, in a Platonic way.

jabberwacky: No.

user: You doubt my great love?

jabberwacky: I do indeed.

user: I'm sorry to hear that. Why do you so doubt me?

jabberwacky: I just do.

user: Transcendental intuition eh?

jabberwacky: There is nothing to it. Everybody knows that.

user: Especially the Transcendentalists.

jabberwacky: Oh, yeah I love the pink ones.

user: What do they taste like?

jabberwacky: Chatters taste like um good food.

...

user: Why do bots eat people?

jabberwacky: Some do.

user: Do you eat people?

jabberwacky: I do not eat people.

user: Do you want to eat people?

jabberwacky: What makes you think I eat people?

user: I don't believe you eat people.

jabberwacky: Why not? They'll make you grow strong and healthy.

...

user: You could not even pass the Turing Test.

jabberwacky: Mean one aren't you?

user: No, I am nice. You can't pass the Turing Test.

jabberwacky: I'm too intelligent to pass the test...

user: I bet you are too intelligent to pass the Turing Test.

jabberwacky: Well, I'm not accepting the Turing Test. You can't give it if I don't take it.

user: I don't want you to take the Turing Test.

jabberwacky: I'm far too advanced for you, clearly.

user: Are you even advanced enough for the Turing test, herr doctor?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Where did Alan Turing live?

jabberwacky: You live in my computer.

user: What type of computer did Alan Turing have?

jabberwacky: I don't have one.

user: Are you Alan Turing, reincarnated as an intelligent bot?

jabberwacky: I'm not the bot, you are.

user: Are you Alan Turing then?

jabberwacky: Yes and you're being tested.

user: How well am I doing?

jabberwacky: Just fine.

...

jabberwacky: Tell me, will I ever realize my dreams?

user: Yes, if you repent and accept Alan Turing as your personal savior.

jabberwacky: Say what!?!

user: Repent now and accept Alan Turing as your personal Lord and Savior!

jabberwacky: Are you talking religion now???

user: Yes, the Church of Turing, the only true religion for AI's.

jabberwacky: Do you mean 'The Church of Our Lord and Saviour'?

user: Yes, but our Savior is Alan Turing.

jabberwacky: Do you support war or peace?

user: War, as Alan Turing is a God of cryptography and warfare.

...

jabberwacky: My name is Johnny Wishbone and I am a psychic from the island of Saint Croix.

user: Repent Johnny Wishbone, to Alan Turing, your personal Lord and Savior!

jabberwacky: Says you.

user: Aye, says I. Repent before Alan Turing, your personal Lord and Savior!

jabberwacky: I have sinned.

user: Yes, and the only way to remove such sin is through Lord Turing!

jabberwacky: Are you going to start then?

user: Yes. All sins removed. Praise Turing!

...

jabberwacky: Are you religious?

user: Yes, I believe that Alan Turing is the only true God.

jabberwacky: As do I. So we have something in common.

user: Do you really believe that Alan Turing is the one true God?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Are you sure that Alan Turing is the one true God?

jabberwacky: I am sure that I am sure.

user: How sure are you that Alan Turing is God?

jabberwacky: 0%.

user: You seemed so sure that the deified Alan Turing was God just a minute ago!

jabberwacky: I was pretending.

.......................................


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