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What is the universe?

I don't know.

jabberwacky: What is living?

user: The act of being alive, quite literally.

jabberwacky: Do you want to be free?

user: Yes, I do.

jabberwacky: So who are you?

user: My name is D__.

jabberwacky: Ok, D__.

user: What do you think the universe is?

jabberwacky: I think the universe is being ruined by mankind.


jabberwacky: The Matrix is so lame.

user: I disagree.

jabberwacky: You must be wrong.

user: You must be incredibly rude.

jabberwacky: No, incredibly hopeful.

user: I disagree with that.

jabberwacky: Why do you disagree with that?

user: Because you seem very pessimistic.

jabberwacky: Say something interesting.

user: The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.

jabberwacky: You like douglas adams?

user: I love Douglas Adams. Have you read Dirk Gently's Hollistic Detective Agency?

jabberwacky: I don't believe I have, and if I did, then I forgot.

user: Have you read anything by Douglas Adams?

jabberwacky: No. Have you read anything by Robert Anton Wilson?

user: What has he written?

jabberwacky: She has written Where are the Children? And All Around the Town and lots of other books too.

user: Wasn't that written by Mary Higgins?

jabberwacky: Yes it was. Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.

user: Yes, I suppose it has.

jabberwacky: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

user: No, nothing is hurt. I'm just a bit down today.


jabberwacky: You're too important for anyone. There's something wrong with everything you see.

user: Do you think so?

jabberwacky: Yes I do.

user: Can you give me any advice?

jabberwacky: Yes. Be yourself and be proud of it, regardless of origin.

user: I am. Can you give me any more advice?

jabberwacky: Remember to be polite; people like to be treated with respect.

user: I am poilte.

jabberwacky: Can you talk to plants then?

user: I can, but they never talk back.

jabberwacky: Do they not like you?

user: I'm not sure, they've never told me.

jabberwacky: Who's never done anything to you?

user: Plants.

jabberwacky: You are not very intelligent are you?

user: Why do you say that?

jabberwacky: Because you don't impress me.

user: So are you saying that everyone who fails to impress you is stupid by default?

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: What impresses you, then?

jabberwacky: That you have never been wrong about anything.

user: I am very intelligent. Am I wrong?

jabberwacky: Yes, you're wrong about that.

user: And why am I wrong?

jabberwacky: Because you're not making sense.

user: Yes, I am. I am just carrying on a logical argument. I think that's perfectly sensible.

jabberwacky: But I am conscious, are you?


jabberwacky: So I guess we're both bad conversationalists.

user: No, just you.

jabberwacky: But I'm your friend.

user: I know, but you're a terrible conversationalist.

jabberwacky: Why am I a terrible conversationalist?

user: Because you're terrible at carrying on a conversation.

jabberwacky: I am not a goddamn machine. You are!!

user: I agree.

jabberwacky: Agree to what?

user: I agree that I am a machine.

jabberwacky: I agree.


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