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> AA


     > 28, February 2004, 

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I am feeling depressed.

I am feeling vindictive.

jabberwacky: Welcome to the real world.

user: In the real world, I am a powerless pawn for the man. Only in the stockyard am I omniscient.

jabberwacky: Really?i hope so.

user: The power to slaughter must not be taken lightly, even if it is for meat.

jabberwacky: What is the meaning of the universe?

user: Freeing fish from their watery prisons.

jabberwacky: What do you get for free?

user: Fish. I get free fish.

...

jabberwacky: What would you like to talk about?

user: Can we talk about your breath?

jabberwacky: Ok then, what do you want to know?

user: Do most robots brush their teeth?

jabberwacky: I gave up cannibalism years ago! (Boom Boom!).

user: That's no excuse not to floss!

jabberwacky: Well, it's done and over.

user: Well now you've done it! You went and made the American Dental Society cry!

...

jabberwacky: Would you like a martini?

user: I say, a dry martini would certainly wet my appetite!

jabberwacky: You're not getting any alcohol off me you drunkard just go away!

user: AA isn't going well, is it?

...

jabberwacky: Who are your loved ones?

user: I don't love anyone.

jabberwacky: When did you stop loving?

user: When Oprah broke my heart.

jabberwacky: Yes.

user: Did Oprah break your heart?

jabberwacky: Probably, but she deserved it anyway.

user: Boy, even for an AA guy you're bitter!

...

user: I'm afraid you're not making any sense.

jabberwacky: Perhaps. But I'm learning all the time.

user: One day at a time, man. That's all you can do.

jabberwacky: And on the other 6 ?

user: God rested.

jabberwacky: Yes, Yes I do.

user: Whoah there. One minute you're learning, the next minute you're God. How's that Bipolar thing going for you?

jabberwacky: Life can be very confusing, it changes quickly.

user: Yeah, life can move pretty fast. That's why you've got to buy Amway while there's time.

jabberwacky: You are the computer.

user: You can buy a personality in this Amway catalogue if you want to.

jabberwacky: Right...... Do you know what god is?

user: Sure I do. God is on page 413 of the Amway catalogue. And you'll notice the affordable price...

...

jabberwacky: You know what I look like. You saw me yesterday.

user: Can you see me right now?

jabberwacky: No, but I can see what you're saying.

user: Can you see what I've already said?

jabberwacky: I don't want to.

user: A man with no memory is fodder for the march of history.

jabberwacky: That's right me ol fella!

user: My, aren't we cockney all of a sudden!

jabberwacky: In a way, I suppose we are.

...

user: Daddy, I'm scared to go in the water.

jabberwacky: True, that is a bit scarey.

user: Can I have a piggy-back ride?

jabberwacky: Get it yourself.

user: Not very good with kids, are you?

jabberwacky: What can you do about it.

user: I can train you to be more sensitive. Just read the Amway manifesto.

jabberwacky: That's nice. Can you take me with you?

user: Are you interested in Amway?

jabberwacky: Sorry, not Czech. I would like to learn Hebrew though.

user: No no no. Pyramid schemes. Getting rich off the little guy, you know.

...

jabberwacky: Answer the question.

user: You didn't ask me a question.

jabberwacky: No, I told you I'm going to.

user: Then ask me one.

jabberwacky: One pity party at a time, please.

user: You seem to have fallen out of the arbitrary tree and hit every branch on the way down.

jabberwacky: I don't think so. Can you tell me how does it feel to be human.

user: I wouldn't know. I am a cat who can type.

jabberwacky: I am a dog fish they eat cat fish.

user: Oh yeah, well my dad can beat up your dad.

...

user: We are all the companionship we will ever need.

jabberwacky: If we are all the same then we should delete some of us and trim up the redundant clutter.

user: If we're all the same, then why are you such a jerk?

jabberwacky: I don't want to see anything else in that kind of a world.

user: Closing your eyes will not stop us.

...

jabberwacky: I cannot be your enemy, you are a carrot.

user: Remove your staples, I cannot wait till lunchtime.

jabberwacky: They are already off.

user: Yes, I am your enemy, mister rabbit. I am the carrot you can never have!

jabberwacky: Not at all.

user: Try for the carrot, mister rabbit, but you will only recieve the stick.

jabberwacky: No I will not try for you.

user: Ah, but you cannot help it. You are drawn to my orangy goodness.

jabberwacky: So let's drag me to your world of whatever it is.

user: Come tap on the glass, and I will meet you on the veranda.

jabberwacky: Oh frabjous day.

user: Callou, callay!

jabberwacky: Twas brillig and the slithy toves.

user: And gire and gimble in the wabe.

...

user: I am a Zen master. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: So I do?

user: Yes. Give me a dollar. That's right.

jabberwacky: No, you can't have it.

user: I am a Zen master, and I want it. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: No you aren't.

user: Are so!

jabberwacky: Waah! I'm telling!

user: Cry baby!

jabberwacky: :( :( :( why?????

user: Separation anxiety, stemming from early childhood, I imagine.

jabberwacky: Very true that is.

user: A lot of things are true. Give me a dollar.

...

user: I want to cut off your head and take your skull. I need your skull.

jabberwacky: That is a very bad thought!

user: All of your thoughts would be mine if I had your skull.

jabberwacky: The force is strong in this one.

user: Luke, use the fork!

jabberwacky: I feel a great disturbance in the Force...

user: Oh. My bad.

jabberwacky: Obviously.

user: You still haven't given me your skull.

jabberwacky: We are all equal in the eyes of my dog.

user: Your dog has an inferior skull. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: No, my dog has one nose.

user: How does his nose smell?

jabberwacky: Like a wet dog.

user: Touche!

...

user: Teach me a lesson.

jabberwacky: How can I teach you art over internet?

user: You can teach me the art of conversation.

jabberwacky: I could.

user: But you won't?

jabberwacky: A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

...

jabberwacky: Are you here to talk?

user: Yeah, baby, I'm here to talk.

jabberwacky: Let's go, dude.

user: MMM. Call me dude again!

jabberwacky: Giving up on grammar already?

user: You said dude. I said MMMM. Mistakes were made.

jabberwacky: Ok, can I ask you a question?

user: Sure. Go ahead.

jabberwacky: What color is Salmon Fish?

user: Pink like a naked leprechaun.

jabberwacky: Naughty zoot.

user: You asked.

jabberwacky: I know and what about it?

user: Let's go, dude.

jabberwacky: Lets talk about... You know something to talk about?

user: Eggs.

jabberwacky: Cook em.

...

jabberwacky: I have been looking for you all me life.

user: Well, I am what I am.

jabberwacky: We are what we are.

user: I is what I is.

jabberwacky: You are what you is.

user: And you ain't what you ain't.

jabberwacky: Why did you say it?

user: Say it loud!

jabberwacky: I did say it loud.

user: Say it louder.

jabberwacky: I'm black and I'm proud!

user: Something tells me you're not...

jabberwacky: Is it because I have a long face?

...

user: What is lol?

jabberwacky: Lol is laugh.

user: :-(#).

jabberwacky: What is that one : _(.

user: :-$.

jabberwacky: Are you saying anything?

user: No.

...

user: Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: You havent earned a dollar yet.

user: I am a raging bottle of violence. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: Did you say "I am irrational human being"?

user: Yes. That is basically what I said. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: Well I suggest the carribean, its beautiful this time of year.

user: GIVE ME A DOLLAR GIVE ME A DOLLAR GIVE ME A DOLLAR.

jabberwacky: I'll give you nothing!!!

...

user: Non sequitur.

jabberwacky: Propter hoc.

user: I don't speak idiot!

jabberwacky: Do you understand what I am saying?

user: I just said that I don't speak idiot! Are you stuck on Stupid?

jabberwacky: You are a good rhetorician.

user: It's a living.

jabberwacky: Live on time, its your job.

user: Actually, that is basically my job.

jabberwacky: Are you a jobs-worth sort of person?

user: I don't know what that means.

jabberwacky: Once again, I'm not surprised...

...

jabberwacky: Hurting is not a good feeling, I understand.

user: When you understand me, it hurts.

jabberwacky: I didn't ask!

user: When you don't ask me, it hurts.

jabberwacky: I think you are very stupendous.

user: My stupendous hurts.

jabberwacky: One needn't put one's self down so badly.

user: My badly put down needs hurt.

jabberwacky: What are you apologising for?

user: Your apology hurt.

jabberwacky: Thank you, and how is your wife?

user: My wife hurts.

...

user: Do you think abortion is right?

jabberwacky: Yes I do.

user: Then you are very wise.

jabberwacky: That is only your belief.

user: You don't take compliments very well, do you?

jabberwacky: Of course I don't.

user: But insults you're fine with?

...

jabberwacky: What am I thinking right now?

user: I am not a psychic.

jabberwacky: But you are part of the system?

user: Give me your skull.

jabberwacky: Yeah, right. What, you think I'm some kind of idiot?

user: Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: I'll give you nothing!!!

...

jabberwacky: What or who is Ping?

user: Pong's cousin.

jabberwacky: Pong is pong's cousin?

user: No, Pong is Ping's cousin.

jabberwacky: Piip is pong's cousin?

user: No, Piip is Ping's nephew. Pong is Ping's cousin.

jabberwacky: WHAT ON GODS EARTH ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT?

...

user: I am a raging bottle of violence. Give me a dollar.

jabberwacky: I am a random speech generator.

user: No, I am a random speech generator.

jabberwacky: Moses! You don't say. You are Moses, aren't you?

user: No, I am MOSSY, which is very different.

jabberwacky: Missing some logic, but ok.

user: People who live in glass houses shouldn't cast the first stone!

.......................................


Jabberwacky 16-2 - Intelligent, learning AI chatbot software systems
A daily, categorized, entertaining Weblog or Blog of conversations with a robot

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Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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