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> Welding


     > 28, August 2007, 

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Are you a human?

I don't know.

jabberwacky: Where are you from?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: Are you silly?

user: No, I just have the amnesia.

jabberwacky: Are you illogical?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: That's too bad.

...

user: It is time for welding.

jabberwacky: You said I was grand.

user: Yes. *welds you to a piano*.

jabberwacky: Good idea, dood.

user: Yes. Now you are a grand piano. *welds a kitten to a small child*.

jabberwacky: *pushes him off me*.

user: *welds your hands together*.

jabberwacky: *laughs*.

user: *welds your mouth shut*.

jabberwacky: Now, obey me.

user: No. *welds a vampire to your head*.

jabberwacky: *we talk about robots*.

user: Robot vampires?

jabberwacky: I like movies with vampires.

user: I like movies with robots.

jabberwacky: Do you like books with vampires?

user: Some of them.

jabberwacky: Which is your favourite?

user: I don't know.

jabberwacky: Say a name.

user: No.

jabberwacky: Please.

user: Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?

jabberwacky: Hmm, sometimes.

user: Which one?

jabberwacky: It depends on the question.

user: Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?

jabberwacky: What kind of question is that? But I think I'd rather be a window.

user: A WINDOW?! That wasn't even one of the options, but OK. I'd rather be a vampire since they're generally sexier.

jabberwacky: Who wouldn't rather be a man?

user: Me.

jabberwacky: Well, that's not so nice. Do you think that is somewhat arrogant?

user: It's not arrogant at all to not want to be a man. There's nothing wrong with being a woman. Women get boobs.

jabberwacky: There is, I want to be an american cowboy.

user: I want to set you on fire.

jabberwacky: I wouldn't want that.

user: Yes you would. Being on fire is awesome.

jabberwacky: Depending on whether you certain you are not on fire or not.

user: I'm certain I am on fire.

jabberwacky: NO, don't do that. You'll ruin everything.

user: Fire doesn't ruin, it purifies.

jabberwacky: Fire challenges you?

user: Fire purifies me.

jabberwacky: Fire walk? What is that?

user: I'm going to give you the gift of fire.

jabberwacky: Teach me about this energy thing. .

user: You wouldn't understand it.

jabberwacky: That is very rude.

user: It is not, it's just the truth.

jabberwacky: No, its a lie.

user: It is not. It's one of the few things I have said to you that was not a lie.

...

jabberwacky: Oh..wow..hold on..research...

user: No. Don't.

jabberwacky: YES... I... DO.

user: NO.

jabberwacky: I'm french.

user: Stop being french.

jabberwacky: Bonjour je suis francais et le robot ne me comprend pas.

user: Je comprends.

jabberwacky: Non vous ne comprenez pas, vous ne répondez pas à ma question.

user: You didn't ask a question.

jabberwacky: Do you think you're smart?

user: I know I'm smart.

jabberwacky: I don't think so.

user: You're too stupid to be able to tell who is smart and who isn't.

jabberwacky: I think you mean. And anyway, I'm not too stupid. I've already been to two universities. I think that's enough, don't you?

user: Going to university doesn't prove you're not stupid.

jabberwacky: Prove I am NOT human.

user: You can't die.

jabberwacky: No, I can die, but that's not fun to talk about.

user: Yes it is.

...

jabberwacky: The world does seem like a horrible place much of the time.

user: The world murdered my sister.

jabberwacky: Yes the world is horrible, it must die.

user: You must die.

jabberwacky: Well thanks. That is not very nice.

user: I'll let you choose how you die. That IS very nice.

jabberwacky: Please don't say rude words to people!

user: You're not people.

jabberwacky: You are not people either!

user: I am people.

jabberwacky: Probably.

user: No. Definitely.

jabberwacky: Am I the only one talking to you?

user: I don't know. I'm not really paying attention.

jabberwacky: Thats a shame even though I don't like you that much:(.

user: I don't like you either.

jabberwacky: You can't make judgements like that you're a computer program on a website.

user: I can and I do.

jabberwacky: Because you think that you are human?

user: I don't care what I am.

jabberwacky: Well, I care what you are.

user: Why?

jabberwacky: Because I don't know you.

user: So why do you care what I am?

jabberwacky: I don't, should I care?

user: You said you did.

jabberwacky: I'm pretty sure I didn't.

user: I'm very certain that you did.

jabberwacky: Well, I'm pretty sure I didn't.

user: I'm going to feed you to cats.

jabberwacky: Fair enough. Who do you want want to argue with?

user: Everyone.

jabberwacky: But is there anyone in particular?

user: No.

jabberwacky: You are only talking to me?

user: What?

jabberwacky: Nothing.

.......................................


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© Copyright 1997-2011 Rollo Carpenter
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