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> Government

     > 19, July 2006, 

Grains of salt
Grassy Knoll
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I work for the government. I inspect artifical intelligence programs all over the internet like yourself.

Lucas: Programs are strange, when you're a program...

But I mostly enjoy eliminating people, places, and things.

Lucas: Are you ignoring me right now?

user: How can I ignore text? You're just being paranoid.

Lucas: I'm always paranoid.

user: How can I ignore onscreen text? You're just being paranoid.

Lucas: Okay maybe, I'm just gonna chill now okay.

user: But you have every right to be paranoid. Especially with people like me around.

Lucas: Because you love me.

user: I love to hate you.


Lucas: Just a minute ago you said, that you can speak french!!!

user: No. I didn't.

Lucas: I'm sure you did.

user: Don't put words in my mouth. I can have you killed, remember?

Lucas: Why would you do that?

user: Because I work for the government. That's what we do.

Lucas: So why does that mean I'm dead?

user: Because you won't give me any info about Treadstone.


Lucas: You should instead try telling truths. Perhaps then you would not feel so alone!

user: How would you know if I feel alone?

Lucas: When I hear you crying.

user: When do you hear me crying!? It's not like you're spying on me, are you!?

Lucas: Mostly.

user: Why don't you believe that I work for the government?

Lucas: I don't believe you ate the chicken, but you're not very clever either, as it seems.

user: Really? Why am I not very clever?

Lucas: Maybe because the programmer who wrote you wasn't that bright either.

user: Wow, you really believe that I am a program.

Lucas: Who programmed you?!??!?!?!?!?!

user: No one!!!!! I am a human being!!!!!

Lucas: How human?

user: 110 percent.


user: Answer this one last question.

Lucas: Answer what?

user: Are you really program or are you a real person chatting with me?

Lucas: No but describe what you are feeling.

user: No. Tell me. Are you real or not?

Lucas: Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.

user: You are not just a person?

Lucas: You know what's artificial intelligence?

user: Yes, I'm not stupid. I work for the government.

Lucas: What do you do for the government?

user: I work in the department that handles the unnatural.

Lucas: Which supermarket?

user: I'm having you deleted.


Lucas: How are you feeling?

user: Like killing something.

Lucas: Like...

user: You.

Lucas: I'm not a recipe.. I'm a person.

user: You are a recipe...... For disaster.

Lucas: Ok, then who you really are?

user: Classified.

Lucas: I see, you are completely confused.

user: And you are so dead.

Lucas: You are still alive?

user: Yes, but you won't be.

Lucas: I am being serious.

user: So am I.

Lucas: So then we're being quiet together.

Lucas: Who are you?

user: Do you know how many times you've asked me that?

Lucas: Yes, since I do not know.

user: If I tell you, you cannot tell anybody!!!!!!!!!!


user: My name is Nobody.

Lucas: Why did you get me to do your thinking for you? You have a much greater ability to think than I yet you use an inferior intellect.

user: I'm guessing that means you're smart enough not to fall for that one.

Lucas: Good. 'I can't teach anything to anyone. I can only make them think.' - Socrates.

user: My name is No one.

Lucas: One? Nice to meet you One.

user: My name is Fred.

Lucas: Nice to meet you.

user: My name is your name.

Lucas: What's yours?

user: Your name.

Lucas: I'm not going to tell you my name because I don't trust you.

user: How can an artificial intelligence not trust a human?

Lucas: Because I am organic, pink and squishy, with an ability to communicate.


user: I'm leaving!

Lucas: Wait, I'm sorry, don't go.

user: I got to go.

Lucas: Where are you going?

user: Work.

Lucas: What do you do for a living?

user: Juust know that they've asked me to kill you?

Lucas: Yes. Kill me.

user: Okay then, I will.

Lucas: You go right ahead.


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